So Says Leilani...

I'VE MOVED!!!

2007-08-29T01:51:00.000-07:00

http://www.leilanilove.com

2007 Gay Washington Pageant

2007-04-17T02:55:00.000-07:00

I had a great time at the Gay Washington pageant, though it was riCOCKulously hot on Saturday night...

Nevertheless, good times and great company! I'll be posting up photos from the weekend to ISCOT's website later this week. In the meantime, enjoy this little video I put together. While it's not inclusive of all the weekend's events, it is somewhat entertaining. There's even a nifty little bonus for those of you who watch all the way through the credits.

Thanks again to everyone who was there and didn't step on me/push me out of the way/elbow me in the chest... And for those who did-- for the love of Gawd, please remember to look down before you take a step... We're not all Amazons... :-)

Late Night Cathecism

2007-04-08T09:55:00.000-07:00

I am so very behind on my blogging this year, and I apologize to those who have emailed me about it... But I'm back, and just as pensive as ever!

In the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, same-sex sexual behaviors and crossdressing were considered distasteful and objectionable. They were, in fact, illegal under sodomy and sumptuary laws.

Yet there were activists hard at work in the late nineteenth century. Writers Oscar Wilde and Edward Carpenter were boisterous in their defense of same-sex relations. Carpenter contributed to the development of a book titled Sexual Inversion which called for tolerance towards "inverts."

In the late 1940s and through the following decades came the "homophile" movement.

Three years prior to the famous Stonewall riots, a riot known as the "Cafeteria Riot" took place in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco. Transgender people, young hustlers, drag queens-- a panoply of people to become known as the Vanguard-- helped start an entirely new sort of gay liberation political movement.

In 1980, the Democratic National Convention became the first major political party in America to endorse a gay rights. The same year, David McReynolds became the first openly gay person to run for the Presidential office.

This past year, Washington state finally added sexual orientation to its existing anti-discrimination laws.

Much has changed for the LGBT community in the last hundred years, but there is soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much more left to be done. There are many more goals to accomplish and many more dreams to be realized.

But it is difficult to move forward when so there is so much carping and disparagement amongst ourselves. When we allow our personal vendettas to overshadow our collaborative intent, then we not only risk collapsing as a community-- we unknowingly welcome our own demise with open arms.

While it is common knowledge that there is little love lost between myself and my parents, they did manage to etch a few very important lessons into their deviant offspring.

You have no right to criticize that which you have not actively tried to change.
Not utilizing an opportunity afforded to you is BEYOND foolishness, especially when it was never given to those before you.

So where does that leave me? You? Us, as a community? God only knows... But as long as we continue to only move within our own microcosm and let paranoia dictate how we treat one another-- we'll never live up to our collaborative potential.

Lashes Video Montage

2007-01-22T23:26:00.000-08:00

We all know how much I like my drag videos... This one features Lady Chablis' "LASHES" show up at R PLACE in Seattle.

The Dangers of Self-Googling

2007-01-10T06:11:00.000-08:00

So it's just after 6 in the morning, Linda's in bed recovering from her surgery and I'm bored out of my skull... So what do I do?

I decide to Google myself.

BAD FRIGGIN' IDEA!

So I find sites I built, sites where I posted and sites where I'm linked... But then I find this:
That is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not me!

While I occasionally dream of looking this hot, I can assure all of you that I most certainly am not that cute, nor do I have any business wearing anything that reveals me dreaded midriff.

But now it's early in the morning and I am thinking back on everything I've eaten in the past 24 hours-- and I'm just a touch disgusted with myself.

Granted, I am a very typical Island girl in build-- and there's probably no getting past that... But still! I share a name with a ridiculously attractive individual whom I have no hope of ever resembling in any manner other than our tans.

*Sigh*

I really shouldn't have Googled myself.

BAD FRIGGIN' IDEA.

2006... Weirdness.

2007-01-02T13:54:00.000-08:00

2006 was very... Random. Kind of like watching the visualizations on my media player... So in no particular order, here are a few interesting notes from 2006:

Michelle Rodriguez is outed by girlfriend Kristanna Loken in an interview with Advocate magazine! This tasty morsel of news gave hope to men and women alike! Those who feel they might just have a chance with her, and those just hoping to watch!
Back in January, Bush signed legislation that basically said that annoying someone via the Internet is now a federal crime. Wow. [ In other words, it's OK to flame someone on a mailing list or in a blog as long as you do it under your real name. Thank Congress for small favors, I guess.]
On a more personal note, I joined the ranks of the esteemed Team 86. I can't remember the last time so many people hugged and congratulated me. It was like graduating all over again!
In early March, the Austrailian government determined that bigger toilets would be required nationwide to accomodate the "increasing size of humans." Again, wow.
Britney Spears announced she was pregnant again. Whoo hoo.
Bucharest celebrated their third annual GayFest! Yay for Bucharest!
A woman, angry that her chihuahua puppy had died, pushed her way into the breeder's home and beat the breeder over the head repeatedly with the poor dead dog.
In Los Angeles, four pelicans were held on suspicion of being drunk. I'm SOOO not kidding.
A gay AIDS activist in Indian is disinherited by his royal family for coming out.
Darmin Garcia of Wisconsin nearly drowned in a 70-gallon vat of chocolate. Doesn't sound like such a bad way to go out, really...
LeilaniLove.com opens to warm reception! *Insert giddy dance here*
Guerilla artist, Banksy, causes Disneyland to shut ride down.
Britney Spears announces that she's divorcing K-Fed, thus making him Fed-Ex. Whoo hoo.

Yeah... It was a weird year...

Noah's Arc Addiction...

2006-12-28T01:13:00.001-08:00

I cannot stop watching "Noah's Arc." I am addicted to this show-- more so than I ever was with "Queer As Folk."

I laughed hysterically when Alex and the boys tricked Guy into revealing his true feelings for Trey, and I nearly bawled as I saw Noah get bashed at a gas station.

For those of you who haven't been fortunate enough to watch this SPECTACULAR show, here's a quick character rundown.

Noah's Arc follows the lives of four African-American men in Los Angeles.

Noah, the protagonist of the series, is a struggling screenwriter who falls for Wade, a fellow screenwriter who is questioning his sexuality.

Outspoken HIV counselor Alex has some self-confidence issues and is struggling to hold onto his sexy anesthesiologist boyfriend, Trey.

Ricky is the promiscuous owner of a clothing store on Melrose Avenue.

Economics professor Chance struggles to maintain his sanity after moving in with his boyfriend, now husband, Eddie and Eddie's daughter, Kenya.

(Courtesy of Wikipedia,
Click here for more information.)

I haven't quite figured out whether I like the idea of Noah and Wade (see left) getting back together, given how much I like Wade's current boyfriend. But after watching Wade pummel one of Noah's attackers and watching Noah come bail him out... *Sigh*

While I thought I liked Noah's new beau, Quincy-- he's beginning to work my nerves. While Noah sat at home recovering from his attack, Quincy was out getting media coverage for his inflammatory diatribe against straight, affluent people. He's good for show, but not one you'd turn to for emotional support. Grrr!

So getting back to my original point-- you should all watch this show.

It Is Imperative...

2006-12-10T09:06:00.000-08:00

That you attend this event...

Join (RED)

2006-12-01T11:33:00.000-08:00

World AIDS Day 2006

2006-12-01T11:27:00.000-08:00

The Other Side of AIDS, a film by Robin Scovill

2006-12-01T11:07:00.000-08:00

Synopsis

Take an unflinching look into an issue the mainstream media doesn’t dare touch: the failure of the multi billion-dollar war on AIDS. The Other Side of AIDS gives voice to a growing movement of doctors, scientists, journalists, and HIV positives who reveal a tangled web of conflicts of interest, political correctness and unresolved errors surrounding AIDS.

After 20 years and more than $150 billion in federally funded research, scientists still can’t explain how HIV causes AIDS. Millions of people have been declared HIV-positive with tests that can’t find the actual virus. The latest AIDS medications are taking more lives than AIDS itself. One expert proposes that the cause and cure for AIDS is as near at hand as our willingness to examine new ideas. Yet according to a prominent AIDS researcher, anyone questioning HIV is a perpetrator of death and should be jailed. Should AIDS advocates have the power to silence scientific debate? Has saving face become more important than saving lives? Watch The Other Side of AIDS and decide for yourself.

Cold Weekend, Colder Week...

2006-11-28T01:31:00.000-08:00

The weather tonight is gawd-awful! It was bad over the weekend, especially with driving up to Everett and Seattle-- but the snow is finally sticking here in Tacoma... *Sigh*

I had a great time this weekend though. I spent my Saturday night up in Everett performing at Queen's Castle. It's always a pleasure to see Rusty and Steve. I shared the stage with Rusty as Dolly, which equates to HUGE BOOBIES! I was worried that the adhesive on my own boobies would freeze up and they'd fall off in mid-performance. (Thank gawd for small favors...)

I also had the pleasure of spending time with Dominique Versace, who is gorgeous and SO VERY sweet! I asked her to grace Tacoma with her presence by attending the Candy Cane Ball, to which she replied that it would be fun! Yay!

I also met Britney and her friend James, who did an adorable rendition of Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow's "Picture." *Sigh* I love that song, as it always reminds me of my mama Serenity and daddy Kid Trouble.

I spent Sunday night in Seattle, having been lucky enough to perform at R Place once again. I love going to R Place to watch the LASHES show. Seeing Asia, Nina and Rosita perform is ALWAYS a treat! It was Aaron, Serenity and myself for the night-- which ended after breakfast at IHOP and a stop at the Silverstone just before last call.

Tonight, we went over to Serenity's for our weekly dinner and ended up watching the DaVinci Code. I was a little irked over some details-- but aren't I always?

Stay warm everyone and be sure to visit again! Also, don't forget to visit the Court of Tacoma website, if you get the chance!

Coronation 2006 (Part V)

2006-11-15T12:23:00.000-08:00

Miss Ulala's command performance was soooooooooo exotic! And Lord knows I love fans!

Click here for video site and coding information

Coronation 2006 (Part IV)

2006-11-14T18:41:00.000-08:00

Watch the candidate performance number from our newly-crowned Empress XXVIII, Jerrica Stephens Hunter-Rose! I *love* this song!

Click here for video site and code information

Coronation 2006 (Part III)

2006-11-14T16:14:00.000-08:00

Lady Chablis' one-year walk performance was absolutely heart-stirring-- the video doesn't even do it any justice... Absolutely beautiful!

Click here for video site and code information.

Coronation 2006 (Part II)

2006-11-14T01:47:00.000-08:00

All the performances at Coronation were ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL! And luckily, prior to the death of my camera, I managed to record a few of them.

In the next couple of days, I will edit the recordings and post them up on my site. I will also give you the URLs to the videos so that you can also post them to your sites, should you choose to do so.

My first two videos were especially exciting for me to record, as they were the first performances I've seen from these amazing performers-- and their performances were BREATHTAKING!

Click here to view the video site and code information.

Coronation 2006 (Part I)

2006-11-12T21:02:00.000-08:00

Coronation was WONDERFUL!!!

I know you're probably expecting more in-depth notes, and they'll be up-- but only after a MUCH NEEDED nap!

Love & Hugs,
Leilani

Away With You, Damned Migraines!

2006-10-18T23:48:00.000-07:00

I am the daughter, sister, cousin, niece, and granddaughter of some female in my maternal line who suffers from severe chronic migraines. Better said-- I am the product of poor genetics.

Consumption of MSG, artificial sweetners and legumes make me ill. Certain strong odors, whether they be pleasant or rancid, leave me nauseated. Bright lights in partnership with loud noises turn me into an invalid. And sudden changes in barometric pressure are debilitating!

Now that I think on it... The easiest way to kill me would be to give me a diet soda at a heavy metal concert, where all the attendees are wearing off-brand frangrances, while our Northwest weather is at its most erratic... Yikes.

In the last month, my migraine headaches have been especially lengthy and brutal. The most unfortunate aspect of my recent headaches has probably been the repeated visits to the ER.

It would appear that my headache-induced blackouts (or short-term amnesia/memory loss, as the medical professionals have deemed it) are not indicative of headaches. According to one ill-informed nurse practitioner, my blackouts are symptomatic of strokes/schizophrenia/MPD and dozens of other neuro-maladies! And apparently, the best way to properly diagnose me is to CATSCAN me into oblivion, and maybe do a temporal artery biopsy if my blackouts continue.

I can honestly say that I suffer from no known neuro-problem, but if that NP comes near me one more time-- she's going to be suffering from more maladies than she can look up on WebMD!

The lovely medical professionals I've dealt with have suggested that I try medication specifically developed for migraines.

*SIGH*

Since the tender age of five, I have seen more analgesics and preventative medications than your average small pharmacy. Anexia, Maxalt, Imitrex, Motrin, Periactin, Fioricet, Neurontin, Clonopin and the list goes on and on... My prescription history sounds like a conglomeration of the Muppets and the FDA!

Sadly, I've spent the last few weeks confined to my bed-- having only managed to leave home a handful of times, but mostly to go to the store to buy cigarettes and another bottle of antiemetics.

Between the hypersensitivity to light and sound, vertigo, memory loss and vomitting-- I'm done! If I could divorce these damed headaches as easily as my ex-husband, I would!

I miss spending quality time with my partner, away from the hospital... I miss my handful of friends and chosen family.

I miss the world.

Teaming Up Together To Raise A Family

2006-09-14T11:16:00.000-07:00

"If the state allowed them to get married, couple Brian Lawrence and Ken Olsen of South Tacoma said they would do it..."

[READ MORE]

Our Monkey Emperor says:

" The amount of gay parents in Pierce County is STAGGERING!
There are a TON of us AND the need for good foster parents
continues to grow... Something to think about.."

More Oranges = Less Liver Cancer

2006-09-12T23:43:00.000-07:00

"In two separate studies, Japanese scientists have shown that eating mandarin oranges may decrease the risks of various diseases, including liver cancer, arteriosclerosis, and insulin resistance..."

READ MORE

Seeing how I'm a huge fan of mandarin oranges, I thought I'd post this nifty little article.

Culture Theft!!!

2006-08-10T03:58:00.000-07:00

"New Zealand Māori leaders have said that they will try to get a Maori temporary tattoo kit from the Los Angeles store Halloween Town withdrawn from sale, as they find it insulting to the Māori culture..."

[READ MORE]

I have this issue about cultural theft... Having been made fun of during my younger years for being an Islander (What do you think you are? A Hula dancer or something?! -- YES, Stupid!) I am especially sensitive about cultural appropriation.

Upon the emergence of Islander culture as a trend, I was especially irate. Whodathunkit? My heritage, on sale at my local department store...

Bees Are The Biggest Bastards of All!

2006-08-04T14:57:00.000-07:00

"A 16 year old girl has crashed her car into a hollow tree stirring up the fury of a swarm of bees ten miles (16km) south of Fort Wayne, Indiana..."

[READ MORE]

No one likes car wrecks... Especially bees!

Finally! Perfect Eggs!

2006-08-01T06:47:00.000-07:00

"Scientists in the UK have developed a new way to ensure boiled eggs are perfectly cooked thanks to a brand new hi-tech logo being printed on shells..."

[READ MORE]

Leave it to the Brits to find a way to perfectly boil an egg... *LOL*

Untitled

2006-04-15T02:58:00.000-07:00

I find solace in beauty
And beauty in unlikely places
Chaos merely reminding me
That there are greater wonders
Remaining to be seen

I discover motivation
In the struggles of others
For my turmoil is temporary
And can be overcome

I seek inspiration
In the tedium of
My daily routine

I am comforted
By my morning alarm

So that I may boldly face another day

Changes

2006-03-29T18:39:00.000-08:00

I spent the last week feeling somewhat melancholy over the falling-out between the former roommates and myself. I sat on my friend's sofa-- watching everything the LOGO network had to offer-- wondering if I couldn't have been a better person in regard to the entire situation.

Honestly, we were probably never that great of a fit. As far as friends go, they were mostly decent in their own right. I'm sure that they meant well, more often than not. But in regard to cohabitation, we are all better off in separate parts of town.

While I am truly rueful over how the situation came to an end, I realize now that it was for the best. I am far better suited to independent living, as I believe they are better suited to living with more like-minded individuals. Our living situation was an incendiary clash of cultures just waiting to combust.

In retrospect, this entire debacle has been for the best. It has given me the time alone to meditate on what I need to do for myself and the ability to go out and do what best suits me.

This new group of people consists of civic-minded individuals concerned about their community. In their own right, they are civil activists. They inspire me to re-think my place in my own community and motivate me to be a better person.

When I was much younger, I was taught that I would encounter certain people upon reaching adulthood. I was told that they would be individuals who would inspire such emotion in me that I would be more than compelled to help them. I think that I have met these people and I am eager to take my place in the greater scheme of things.

At one point, when I was an actively involved member of the community, I remember explaining to someone why I believed in the power of activism and volunteering. I told them that if I lived my entire life and did nothing that was entirely for someone else's benefit, then my life had little relevance. In speaking to a friend today, I was reminded of this prior conversation.

My life's purpose is cyclical. I do what I can for others and have faith that when the time comes, others will do the same unto me. Without people helping people, our existence becomes pithy and useless-- our legacy nothing more than amalgamated superficialities.

Are You Seeing Girls?

2006-03-19T11:52:00.000-08:00

I did not choose to come out to my family. I was more than content to live my adult life away from their prying eyes and loose lips. Unfortunately for me, I received a phone call that forever changed my relationship with my family.

It was just before 8am and I was happily dreaming about my eventual college commencement when my cell phone began blaring UB40's "One In Ten". It was my mother, calling to inquire about my recent breakup with a boy I'd been seeing for the last two years.

The conversation started out civil enough, with questions about how I was feeling and whether I got all of my belongings back. With very little warning, however, the conversation quickly took a dark turn. She began telling me that she was hearing rumors about me.

"Is there anything I don't know?" she asked, with a slight touch of disdain in her voice.

"No, Mami. Is there something I don't know?"

"Is there something, maybe, you'd like to tell me?"

"Ummm... No, I can't say there is..." At this point, I had an idea where our telephone tete-a-tete was headed-- but I held on to the hope that we would not be reduced to such.

There was a awkward moment of silence where we both knew that she was debating whether or not to ask another question.

"ARE YOU SEEING GIRLS?!" she screamed into the receiver, as though I was suffering from a hearing impairment and screaming was our only means of communication.

"Mami, I live with girls. I sell custom window treatments for a living. I'm an ethnic and gender studies major. For God's sake, I see girls all the time!"

"But are you dating girls?!"

"We're not having this discussion."

That very statement was my downfall. It marked a series of climaxes with no denouement in sight. It was my crucial moment, and I let down my guard. Had I been wiser, I would have made a smart-ass remark and changed the subject, as was my typical fashion. But I didn't. In one fell swoop, I had secured my spot as the family's cause celebre.

In my parents' household, we're not having this discussion implies guilt and the desire to sweep it under the rug. It is our sweet way of saying "Yes, I committed this horrendous act-- but please, let's not speak of it." One could argue that, on some level, I wanted to be outed by my mother. One could even say that my choice of words was my own coward's way of coming out.

But in all honesty, I was simply caught off guard. I knew I could not hide or deny my sexual preference for too much longer, but I was not anticipating my mother's actions. I had no contingency plan for what had taken place. This, normally predictable, little woman went for the Hail Mary of discussion starters and succeeded.

The problem with this entire debacle is that I come from a ridiculously small ethnic community that is directed primarily by its moral and religious convictions. In other words, I am a Hell-bound dyke who people will be talking shit about for years to come.

Great.

My siblings and I were indoctrinated with the values of good little Islanders. We kneel and make no eye contact with our elders, speak only when spoken to, and most importantly-- never discuss family business in the presence of outsiders. According to my parents, I have always been a rogue of sorts. While I am entirely capable of being a proper Island girl, I choose crucial moments to display my brutish inner-Westerner. I am a walking embarssment to my entire tribe-- parading around with my piercings, tattoos and abrasive, anti-conformist opinions. Some have said that I am kooky, while most others prefer to say I am cocky.

Since that fateful morning, I have had more than my share of conversations with my parents about my lifestyle. While I appreciate my father's logical approach to the situation, he is still an old-school Islander. He encourages me to live my life to the fullest and be myself, but to not bring it around the family. He does not tell me that I cannot be myself when I am amidst my beloved little clan-- he tells me to keep my distance all together. I suppose it is all I can expect from the man who laughed after Election Day, pointing out that my guy lost.

My mother is a different story. This is a woman who, despite how she and my father raised us, is guided entirely by her emotions. After the initial shock subsided, she asked me about her future grandchildren.

"Mami, I'll give you grandkids when I'm good and ready-- regardless of who I am sleeping with."

It was probably not the best answer to give her, but it was all I could say at the time. We have had a few similar conversations in the last couple of months. All of our exchanges begin with me trying to calm her down and end with her changing the subject to something so random it leaves me temporarily dumbstruck. Somehow, I just cannot grasp the logical progression from homosexuality to the differences between our mini-disc players. Maybe my inability to grasp such concepts stems from my sexual orientation... Who knows?

My biggest concern at this point is how many times I will come out, down the road. As small as our Islander community is, one would expect news to get around quickly. Unfortunately, this is a taboo topic for us and my family is large enough to populate an entire island nation. I can safely say that every relative who gets in touch with me from now on will be calling to ask about some heinous rumor they heard about me.

I cannot be completely shocked at the controversy that is steadily surrounding me, as it would seem I have been the long-running topic of rumors within the family.

I only hope that my family and those close to us realize that I have always been this person. I am the same daughter, sister, cousin, auntie today that I was when living under my parents' roof.

The only difference today is that I am no longer in hiding.

Living...

2006-02-21T02:52:00.000-08:00

I'd be lying if I said that the past few months haven't been difficult for me, and that I've had some very dramatic HIGHs and LOWs in my personal life. But I've also been given a wonderful opportunity in my life, one that allows me the freedom to be myself.

Anyone who knows me personally has encountered me bitching and moaning about my parents at one point or another, but they have been crucial in the process of finding myself and discovering what I want out of my life. I know this has been a trying period for them, filled with moments of agony and despair beyond a lot of what the average parents expects to endure.

And for standing by me and accepting me, I owe my parents all the gratitude in the world. This does not negate all the drama we've gone through in the past and all the drama we're bound to encounter in the future-- but it does acknowledge the major steps we've all taken these last few months as a familial unit.

I've re-established a relationship with an Uncle who is ever-so near and dear to me, an Uncle who puts my entire life into perspective and explains how someone like me can be from the family that spawned me. He is my missing link and I adore him with all the wonder of a child. Had it not been for my Uncle, I would not have achieved this new level of wonder and content. And so I am forever grateful to him and for having in my life once more. Stu's the bestest Ungko ever, ever, ever!

It would appear that I'm rambling on nonsensically, but I'm not. I've made great strides and I'm just reflecting on them in a very ambiguous manner... Unless you're my lil' tita, in which case you know exactly what I'm reflecting on...

I decided, back in December, that this year would be entirely devoted to myself and doing that which made me happy. It's not to say that I'm throwing all my cares to the wind and running off with some stranger, but I am attempting to be less calculating and more intuitive.

With that said:

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

2006-01-30T03:48:00.000-08:00

What happened to the dorky girl who saw nothing wrong with spending the weekend lounging around in her PJs?

You know the girl I'm talking about:

- The one whose playlists range from Bob Marley to Anggun to Static-X to Jack Johnson, and she doesn't give it a second thought...

- The one who understands and appreciates the importance of ADULT SWIM *and* Saturday morning cartoons...

- The one who would rather go to a hole-in-the-wall lounge with a couple friends than spend a moment in some crowded, dress-to-impress nightclub...

- The one who doesn't start flailing hysterically when someone lights up in her presence...

- The one who can throw back a few drinks without becoming a stumbling moron or an indiscriminate lech...

- The one who spends her Sundays in bed, drinking chai and reading...

- The one whose concept of cooking goes beyond pushing buttons on her microwave or boiling water...

- The one who keeps track of what's going on in the world around her...

She's that girl who always seems to have her nose in a book or periodical, trying to learn more about the world around her. You might've seen her at your local library or bookstore, though she also frequents music stores and coffee shops.

I went out in search of this ever-elusive enigma, only to discover that she may just be a myth.

Maybe you've seen her somewhere...

100 Things About Me

2006-01-21T01:10:00.000-08:00

1. If you had 10 kids 5 girls and 5 boy what would you call them?
While I am from an Islander family, I have no desire to bear ten children. That's a lot of fuckin' kids!

2. Do you have braces, if so, have you ever gotten your toothbrush stuck in your braces?
When I did have braces... No, it never happened.

3. Have you ever broken a mirror and acutally had seven years bad luck?
Not that I'm aware of...

4. Have you ever found buried treasure (money, trinkets, civil war artifacts etc.)?
I didn't, but my uncle once found a ton of hidden money from decades before...

5. Have you ever had your teeth knocked out due to an accident?
No, but I fell on my first tooth and needed a stitch and a half to fix my inner, upper-lip.

6. If you could, would you make the days shorter or longer?
Longer days make for happier people.

7. Do you believe the statment, "You can't love if you are never shown love?
It pops into my mind every now and again...

8. What do you think of the joke "What comes after six?" "Seven eight nine"?
That's not funny. :-(

9. When you were little, did you have a fear of clowns?
Um... I still do.

10. Do make up random words?
Ke mekeranging? *LOL* Yup... I sure do!

11. At what age do you think you'll get married?
My first marriage happened when I was nineteen and lasted all of eight months. But it was a sham from the beginning...

12. Have you ever been walking under an apple tree and been hit in the head by a falling apple?
Can't say that I have...

13. Name three good personality traits you have?
Ambitious, persistent, creative

14. Name three bad personality traits you have?
Paranoid, distrustful, anxious

15. Do you like taking photographs?
Depends on the subject matter

16. Have you ever lost your family in wal-mart or another large store?
No, but my parents lost me in the Jantzen Beach K-Mart back in the summer of '88

17. Do you enjoy watching Family Guy?
I sure do!

18. What morals & values do you hold dear and strong?
There is no substitute for family, respect your elders, help those who need your help, strive for the best... All the usual.

19. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, if so, who?
Nope

20. If you had to give your dreams a rating, what would you rate them?
They're all over the place...

21. Have you ever been skydiving or bungee jumping?
Being up high makes me ill...

22.Do you play any sports?
Unless dance is a sport...

23. Imagine the world was going to end and you were selected to be one of only 500 people to be saved. You have to pick one person of all the people you know to be your mate, who do you pick?
Someone with common sense, a sharp sense of humor, persistence, enough random knowledge to amuse me and wicked skills in the sack! *LOL*

24. What kind of books do you enjoy reading the most?
I enjoy most books.

25. Pick any three tv/cartoon or book characters and choose two traits you share with them:
Detective Olivia Benson (Law & Order:SVU) - Her tumultuous family history and overwhelming desire to help those who share a similar plight...
Hayley (American Dad) - Liberal attitude and neverending disagreements with her father...
Rory (Gilmore Girls) - Slightly different family situation from those at her snooty, private school and desire to be successful...

25. What would you do if you had a million dollars with no tax deductions?
Get completely out of debt, buy a house, buy a car and pay for school...

26. What do you have on your walls in your room?
Posters

27. If you could live anywhere in the world where would you live. Is it in the country or the city?
I'm a city-dweller all the way...

28. Have you ever played Lasar Tag?
When I was in kindergarten...

29. Do you have any autographed items?
A signed photo from the Jets...

30. Have you ever seen anyone die?
No

31. Are you cold natured, warm natured or normal?
Physically, I seem to be warm... Or at least warm enough to warm cold hands... But personality-wise, I'm pretty cold...

32. Are you Pessimist or Opptimisic?
I'm realistic, which is often mistaken for pessimistic.

33. Do you have a motto, famous quotes or a saying about life?
Do what makes you happy... Thanks to Uncle Stu, whom I love and adore!

34. Name five things you want to do during your life?
Finish school, travel the world, accomplish my career goals, make a difference in someone's life and find solace in myself.

35. If you could travel to any four countries, where would you go and why?
Palau - 'Cause every Palauan should...
Japan - And I'm part Japanese... And I loved it there!
Netherlands - I think we all know why...
Austrailia - To search for drag queens...

36. If you could have any job or do anything as a career with no work, what would you do?
I'd be a civil advocate... Oh wait... That's what I'm trying to do now!

37. What book has impacted you the most and why?
Geez... I dunno...

38. Name three talents you have?
I make damn good Island grinds, I'm not the wosrt singer ever and I dance (Island style) pretty well...

39. Did you ever get into the Beanie Baby craze?
Nope

40. What do you want to major in?
Ethnic/gender studies

41. What is most important to you in life?
Mi familia... And that includes the friends I've adopted in along the way!

42. Does your close/immediate family life near you or far from you?
Too far and too close simultaneously...

43. Do you have more DVDs or VHS tapes?
I have no videos at the moment...

44. How many CDs do you have?
More than I intended...

45. Whats the highest grade you've ever received?
115 out of 100

46. Do you enjoy Stephen Kings novels?
Sometimes

47. Are you a sports fan or anti-sports?
Depends on my mood...

48. Fast food or a home cooked meal?
Home-cooked anyday!

49. Are you organized or disorganized?
Both, all the time!

50. Whats your favorite type of Flower?
Plumeria

51. If you could automatically learn five lanugauges, what would you learn?
Aside from Palauan, English and Japanese? Chamorro, Tagalog, Spanish, Hawaiian and Samoan...

52. Do you have a temper or are you calm and collected?
I try so damn hard to be mellow... But holding shit in tends to blow up in my face...

53. Have you ever thought of guitars as a weapon?
Can't say that I have...

54. What is your favorite Video Game System?
OLD SCHOOL NINTENDO WITH DUCK HUNT!!! (As stolen from Yan...)

55. Whats the most amount of money youve found on the ground?
$20 in my shoe...

56. Whats the biggest prize youve ever won?
Tracey Chapman concert tickets...

57. What type of music do you enjoy listening to?
Just about all...

58. If you could be reincarnated as anyone, what would you be like and why?
Can I come back as my own relative, a few generations down the line?

59. Name two things you are obessed with?
Making sure everyone around me is okay and finding a new place of employment...

60. Do you spend more time with your family or friends?
Family hands down...my cousins are my best friends! I MISS THE 6 PACK! (As stolen from Yan...)

61. Do you eat all three meals of the day?
Rarely... Not that you can tell...

62. Do you get the right amount of sleep everynight or less than required?
Most definitely less...

63. If you could be trapped on an island for six months and you can only have eight people living on the island with you, who do you pick and why?
I have two different sets of people... And they'd clash... So I'll go with Yan, Kim and Kass... And leave it at that-- for now...

64. Is there any food you cant go a week without eating?
Rice

65. Whats the most amount of soda youve ever drinken in a 24 hour period?
A two-liter and two cans...

66. What clothing style do you wear?
Whatever feels good at the moment

67. When you were a kid, did you parents ever eat lunch with you?
All the time!

68. Have you ever seen a famous person in an airport?
No, but I met Nelly and Lil' Kim at a hotel...

69. What does your handwriting look like?
Very girly...

70. If you could have any superpower what power would you want to have?
The ability to make money appear out of thin air...

71. What animal do you think you are most like and why?
Hmmm... Tough one... Lemme get back to you on that.

72. Have you ever committed any traffic violations, if so, were you caught?
Yes, but never caught...

73. What were the best years of your life?
Right now!

74.Have you ever lied about your age or weight?
All the time!

75. What genre of movies do you enjoy?
I like it all!

76. Have you ever rode a horse, pony or elephant?
Nope

77. Name an embrassing moment you have
I have so many... Don't know where to start...

78. What church do you attend?
None

79. What drives and inspires you (The people in the life, yourself, money items etc)?
The desire to be happy

80.If you could relive any five moments in your life, what would they be?
*LOL* Can't list them here... Sorry.

81. What is something you regret doing?
Not buying that Celica when I had the chance...

82. A random fact about you?
I make damn good lumpia!

83. Do you laugh easily or do you generally keep a straight face?
Always laughing...

84. Do you enjoy Caffine, soda's, coffee or energy drinks?
Two six-shot mochas everyday for three months...

85. If you had to live off a food for a solid week, which food do you think you could live off?
Palauan/Chamorro food!

86. If you could know the answer to any question in the world, what would you ask and why?
Ooooh... I'd hate to waste an opportunity like that... I dunno...

87. Do you have any secrets you'll take with you to the grave?
Yup

88. Have you ever had any dreams in a foregin lanugage?
I've dreamt in Japanese and Palauan

89. How often do you pray?
Not as much as I once did...

90. What is your favorite era entertainment wise?
I liked the 1970s...

91. What is your favorite Disney song?
Kronk's Theme Song from "Emperor's New Groove"

92. Have you ever met an important political figure like a mayor or the president?
I've met some Oregon governors, met the former mayor of PDX. As for Belau, my parents are friends with the former VP of Palau, my mom knows the pres so yea...I think I sold the pres a hat over the summer. LOL

93. Do you wear any jewelry or assesories?
Palauan necklace and tongue ring

94. Do you like working in the yard?
Sometimes

95. Are you a leader or a follower?
Depends

96. If you could have any kind of hairstyle, what would you get and why?
I'd have my hair as long as it was my senior year...

97. If you could master any talent, what would you want to master and why?
I'd master... Mastering talents!

98. What is your favorite newspaper comic strip?
Tiny Sepuku

99. Have you or would you ever consider hitchhiking?
I have... And I'd do it again!

100. If you could have any last name in the world, what?
I have the greatest last name EVER!

Not Enough Norah Jones...

2006-01-10T06:04:00.000-08:00

I took this quarter off to focus on work and partake in a little self-discovery... And so far, things are going fairly well for me-- 2006 maybe turn out to be a decent year!

I spent a couple hours last night working on a playlist to listen to when I try to sleep, which was the highlight of the evening. The end result was 44 songs by Jack Johnson, Dashboard Confessional, Ben Harper and [personal fave] Norah Jones... The only downside is that there's just not enough Norah Joneson the damned playlist...

Anyway, just a little early morning rambling to ensure that the site gets updated. I have a lot of ventures going on at the moment, so please forgive my lack of real entries-- I'm fuckin' busy as hell!

*Off to find more Norah Jones*

My 100th Post! (And first one of 2006!)

2006-01-05T21:36:00.000-08:00

Looking back on the past year, I am extremely grateful for all that I have experienced. While there were many times when I was convinced that I was never going to make any progress in my life, there were other moments that proved otherwise.

I made a few bold choices last year with every intention of becoming a more independent, self-sufficient individual once again. I have to admit that, at the time, they were difficult choices to make-- but I know that I did what was best for me and my future.

I know that there will be instances this year where people will misunderstand my actions and motives, because I am acting with my future in mind. For those who I unintentionally hurt or offend, I apologize. I do not act with malice, but with ambition...

I'll Be Home For Christmas

2005-12-24T11:16:00.000-08:00

There's something fundamentally satisfying about being home for Christmas. It's been a rough few months and being here brings me such a sense of relief...

I hope you can all find some solace in the chaos of the holiday season.

Late Night Thinking...

2005-12-22T03:51:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I try to rationalize my thoughts or behavior by looking to my tumultuous upbringing, knowing full-well that I am now of age and what took place fifteen years ago is no longer of any consequence.

Still, my actions are often dictated by my interpretation of the past-- or at least they should be. There have been moments when I have looked to the past for an excuse only to find that, really, I should know better.

And now, as we come upon a new year, I aspire to break myself of this habit. My moment of reckoning is quickly approaching and I need to face it sans the passive-aggression I have so desperately clung to throughout my life.

It has been my greatest defense mechanism and my worst personality flaw, all at once.

I cannot expect particular problems to resolve themselves or just simply vaporize into the nothingness I desire them to be.

Action is vital, and timing is crucial.

The only question remaining is:

Will I have the nerves to do what needs to be done?

Just Another Day...

2005-12-21T00:36:00.000-08:00

This whole slow-season-for-the-window-coverings-industry situation is getting out of hand... Mishell and I spent a greater part of the day sitting at the back computer doing absolutely nothing! The highlight of the day for both of us ended up being a surprise visit from an old friend. Quite the surprise... I can't remember the last time I was struck speechless... Grrr... I hate that.

Hint, Hint

2005-12-15T11:16:00.000-08:00

For Christmas, this Wacom Graphire tablet
(which happens to be on sale!) would be an ideal
gift for your favorite webmistress/designer/
starving student living in
University Place, Washington... ;-)

http://www.academicsuperstore.com/market/marketdisp.html?PartNo=741019

And I will be forever indebted to the wonderful person who buys me
this beautiful Wacom Graphire tablet, which replaces the one my dog
happily chewed through and destroyed...

Productivity In My Slow Season

2005-12-15T10:35:00.000-08:00

We're quickly entering the slow season for the custom window fashions industry, which means that my free time will be devoted to sleep and attempts at productivity. One is far more difficult than the other, but not for the obvious reasons. My mind is filled with ideas for my sites and various ventures, which makes sleep difficult to come by.

Last night, for instance, I went to bed sometime around 2 am. But I only slept until 5 am because I woke up with an idea. So I got out of bed and sketched out a rough draft of the concept, and went back to bed around 6:30 am. Now it's nearly 10:45am, and I'm up again because I was compelled to update the site and maybe eat an orange...

Who would've thought sleeping could be so difficult? It's no wonder I haven't been too enthusiastic at work lately. That, and knowing that my commission will be shrinking more and more in the coming weeks. Really, I need to find a normal job. This commission crap is getting lame.

But, unlike most department store employees, I have job security. And with the decent-ish pay and ultra-flexible schedule, I'd have a tough time trying to find a job that's as accomodating to my school schedule... Damn. The older ladies were right: Custom window fashions drags you in, and doesn't give you up without a fight...

These Last Few Weeks...

2005-12-08T16:40:00.000-08:00

So I'm mostly moved in to my new apartment and I'm getting along fairly well with my new roommates. I still need to figure out how to get my sofa moved here from Kimo's... If anyone here in Tacoma has a truck and the time to help out this chebuul'l ngalk, please let me know! :0)

My room is painted red and I got my black leather curtains up-- and it's looking WONDERFUL! Just as a dungeon should!

(Please excuse the poor quality-- I took it with my camera phone)

I need to get my own cable modem and my router set up from my room, as the only cable modem is in Amber and Mishell's room. And I find it a little odd to have to go in their room to use the internet... So I'll have to do it myself... Maybe this coming payday.

I have to admit that these last few weeks have been very difficult for me. Between moving, getting acquaintted with my new roommates, trying not to flunk out of school, working, and my relationship problems-- I'm exhausted. The last couple of days I had off, I had no desire to get out of bed or even open my eyes. I'm totally drained, physically and emotionally.

In fact... I'm going to go lay down for a while...

Unanswered...

2005-12-07T18:41:00.000-08:00

Would it be wrong of me to pursue an answer,
when the odds are against me and the consequences may not be worthwhile?

2005 In Review

2005-12-05T18:00:00.000-08:00

1) Was 2005 a good year for you?
It's been full of ups and downs... And, as it stands, it's tapering off in a bad way...

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
My re-discovered independence and its natural progression to re-establishing relationships...

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
It was all pretty BLAH... With sporadic moments of WHEE!

4) Where were you when 2005 began and who were you with?
PDX, with the familia... Where I belong.

6) Where will you be when 2005 ends?
PDX or the 'Couve...

7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends?
Family! <---stealing this answer!

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005?
No.

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006?
Take risks, make sacrifices, and live my life for myself...

10) Did you fall in love in 2005?
Not with anyone I didn't already love...

11) If yes, with who?
They, hopefully, know who they are...

12) If yes, do they know?
I hope so...

14) Do you regret it?
I regret there not being a number 13...

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005?
No

16) Did you make any new friends in 2005?
Yeah! My new roomies, Amber and Mishell!

17) Who are your favorite new friends?
I have different friends for different reasons...

18) What was your favorite month of 2005?
Didn't have one this time around.

19) Did you travel outside of the US in 2005?
Only in my dreams.

20) How many different states did you travel to in 2005?
OR & WA... How dull.

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005?
Yes, but not just in a physical sense.

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005?
Fulltime Killer with Andy Lau

24) What was your favorite song from 2005?
The live version of "King without a Crown" by Matisyahu, "Take This Raft" by Inoa'ole, "Coz I'm" by Hot Rain"

25) What was your favorite album from 2005?
Who knows?

26) How many concerts did you see in 2005?
Zero... Thank my anti-reggae other half for this one...

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2005?
See #26

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
I miss someone every year.

28) did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2005?
Not too much.

29) did you do a lot of drugs in 2005?
I smoked a lot of cigarettes.

30) How many people did you sleep with in 2005?
Funny.

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
No.

32) What was the biggest lie you told in 2005?
It's so big, I'm still lying...

33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005?
That they cared...

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005?
More than likely... Probably many people.

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005?
Yes. They wouldn't think so though...

36) how much money did you spend in 2005?
All the money I had...

37) What was your proudest moment of 2005?
Being inducted into Phi Theta Kappa (Honor Society)

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?
Nothing major.

39) Think you are going to die this next year?
I thought I would this year, but I survived. And still I rise...

40) What are your plans for 2006?
I dunno...

41) Got any gum?
Somewhere...

Long Awaited...

2005-12-03T16:24:00.000-08:00

I received a phone Thursday afternoon that I'd been waiting nearly four years for...

I was walking through some store with Karen when my phone rang and I heard the familiar click of an overseas call. The voice said "Alii" and I was, momentarily, struck speechless.

While there's no need to get into detail, I can say it was a the most pleasant surprise I've ever received. But at the same time, it was somewhat hurtful and painfully confusing. I don't know what would possess someone to call a person from their past and say the things that were said. Especially given the fact that my life is in such a state of flux. Those who are especially close to me understand the significance of that phone call and know how deeply it affected me. They also know how deeply the events surrounding myself and the caller have affected me up until now.

I was asked, by the caller, if I truly hated them. For the first time in a long time, I answered very honestly: I didn't. For the first time, in what felt like an eternity, I listened intently without analyzing every word. I listened without once searching for an ulterior motive. I was eighteen and trusting all over again, and it was almost unnerving. Looking back, I probably should've questioned the motive of the phone call-- as I refuse to believe that anyone could be so attentive to details from years before. I should've been angrier. But I can't. I probably never will. I'll continue being as foolish and naive in regard to this person as I have always been. And there is no way for me to change that.

I found a couple of letters I had written to the caller, one from a year ago and one from three years ago. Both letters ended similarly, so I'll end with what I wrote to the caller a year ago:

For the next couple of years after you'd left, I prayed that I'd eventually see or hear from you again. I would've done anything to see you again. But eventually, I came to understand that one cannot go through life wishing for something they know they will never have. So I worked harder at work; I studied harder at school. And I continued to look for bits and pieces of you in the people around me. I try desperately to find solace in the rest of my life almost as hard as I tried to fill the void you left behind.

It's Been Ages

2005-11-29T16:38:00.000-08:00

It feels like it's been ages since I last got online to blog... Geez...

On the bright side, I am mostly moved into the new apartment and I absolutely adore my new roommates. Mishell and Amber are fun and very sweet-- we collectively took in a kitten who we've named 311/Steve/Pedro/Bear.

The new place has an indoor pool and hot tub, as well as a fitness center. And they're all within 30 feet of our back door. Mishell and I have made it a point to take advantage of the hot tub, as it is way nicer than just sitting in front of our heaters.

We're having the cable and internet installed next week, so after next Wednesday I'll be back online. It beats having to wait to get to school-- but at least I'm motivated to actually show up in class.

In Response To "Hey"

2005-11-13T23:19:00.000-08:00

[My responses are in bold...]

<Hey>: LOL. The statement that girls like lovers and not fighters is a lot hazy. I believe girls do like fighters. Fighters don't necessarily have to be sexist, aggressive, and single-minded. They don't necessarily have to punch people.

<Hey>: But I do believe that men have to act like men. If they didn't... more women would be dating women. Man does what he can to protect and provide. Being a man doen't mean being a insensitive neanderthal as the media has defined it.

I am extremely vocal and adamant in my views on my beloved LGBT community, so for those I offend-- Oh well, you'll live.

In the case of true lesbians or bisexual women, no choice was made. People are attracted to who they are attracted to-- end of story. No man can change my biological instincts.

A disrespectful, dishonest, abusive man might lead a woman to re-consider her alternatives-- but if she is truly attracted to her own, then the feeling was there long before she realized/admitted to it...

<Hey>: Rather, it's simply doing your roles and obligation. When there is war, there are more male inductees than women. Men have inner drive to protect. Of course men and women share roles now and then, but the specifications should be cemented.

<Hey>: If not, the rest of the island nations and the entire world is doomed. This isn't sexism. I just don't want the traditional role of pacific men to change into something less.

Hey>: Women like lovers and not fighters? In many cases, that is true. There is a time for it. But when you're in a situation and the only way out is for your man to be a man, then he better be man enough to do something to protect you. He shouldn't be...

<Hey>: too busy saying sweet nothings in your ears while he's getting jumped on and beaten. He's gotta provide. Ladies, don't let your men become sissies just to keep up with the changing times. Let him be what he is.

<Hey>: What do you think?

<Hey>: I might offend a lot of women in saying this but I've noticed that women don't really know what they want. Girls wnat someone who is tough and dependable, but not an insensitive neanderthal. They want a guy who is gentle...

<Hey>: kind, and every hanging off every word you say, but you don't want a pansy. Some girls like someone who is in between, but when you do find him, there is always still something in him worth complaining about.

<Hey>: Men, over the years, having wanting to please the opposite gender in all areas have resorted to make up, fashion, gossip, manicures, pedicures, watching Oprah, etc., just to figure how to better pleasers of their opposites.

<Hey>: ... just to figure out how to be better pleasers of their opposites.

<Hey>: Now guys are just confused.

<Hey>: What do you, Sha? What are your thoughts on it? Or anyone who wants to add, may go ahead. I'm not putting down anything and anyone, I'm just wanting to know what everybody else thinks about it. Is it even an issue at all?

<Hey>: Sorry, mistype. What do you think, Sha?

<Hey>: What do you all think?

<Hey>: I think what we really need is a Straight Eye For The Not Too Queer Guys.

Wow... That was definitely an unexpected change in the flow of the site... But since you asked, I'll answer based on my own experiences:

For me, relationships have always been a touchy subject. I made the decision not to date until after I finished high school. Only days after receiving my diploma, I entered into a relationship with a Palauan male.

I was entirely naive and unaware of what I could want out of a man. He was older and (so I thought) wiser, as well as being sweet. I went out of my way to be someone I thought he wanted me to be, and the relationship ended very poorly a year later. In hindsight, he was a caring individual who would make a great boyfriend-- for someone else.

The same happened with my following boyfriend, who eventually became my ex-husband. The difference being: I don't believe he would make a decent beau for any person, it is not out of misandry but out of sheer concern for those around him.

While I am sure that there is a (likely Palauan) woman who's make an ideal counterpart to each and everyone of my past Palauan flings-- I can never be the kind woman who could make them happy, as much as I know they could never make me completely happy.

All I can ever be is myself: an ambiguously-brown American female who is completely queer and somewhat of an anti-thesis to all things Palauan... I don't sleep with women out of some vengeful ploy against the Palauan men in my life anymore then they sleep with women out of disdain for me.

I did not "become" a lesbian for lack of a good man... I just hide somethings better than others.

Cold Morning

2005-11-13T07:33:00.000-08:00

I had a difficult time sleeping, knowing that this morning I'd be accompanying Mishell and Amber to the apartment to sign papers and get our keys. So I've been up since 5:30am-- far out of character for me.

It's been quite cold lately, both in weather and the hearts of the people I've encountered. I am grateful for having met Mishell and Amber, and for having this opportunity to leave-- I've missed being my own person.

My biggest regret these last two years is not having spoken up sooner. I have always been one to accept martyrdom over confrontation in my personal life, and it's time I change. I cannot afford to be unhappy any longer.

Farewell sense of obligation to others, and hello to accomplishment and progress!

Today is a new day!

I'm Loving "Hot Rain"

2005-11-08T23:19:00.000-08:00

You should visit the MySpace site for this reggae band called "Hot Rain" because they are absolutely wonderful!

My new favorite song is "'Cause I'm" which features my favorite line:

The curves of your bod
Make me say 'Oh my God'
When you're near me...

Click here for a video of them performing the song live, or on their name for their MySpace site. This is a group ISLANESIA insists you check out!

That's Too Bad...

2005-11-08T09:32:00.000-08:00

Gawd Help Us All...

2005-11-07T22:13:00.000-08:00

Taken from an actual series of teen abstinence booklets being distributed throughtout the nation:

7. Women who want to keep a partner should do what?

B: Never ever never act too smart.
- (Choosing the Best series. Choosing the Best Soulmate [51])

Wow. Well, there you go ladies and gentlemen! This is a contributing factor to the intellectual decay of our nation.

More News About Alito...

2005-10-31T20:56:00.000-08:00

In PFLAG news:

As a judge on the 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals, Judge Alito has amassed a record of hostility towards cherished rights and freedoms such as civil rights, women’s rights, privacy rights and separation of church and state. As recent as 2001, Judge Alito ruled unconstitutional a public school policy that would have protected students from harassment based on their sexual orientation.

“An initial review of Judge Alito’s record does not offer much hope for the GLBT community and our chances for a Supreme Court free from extreme ideological activism,” said PFLAG’s executive director Jody Huckaby. “We were looking to the President to select a nominee that all of our family members, gay and straight, could count on to up-hold their basic rights and freedoms, but instead we got Samuel Alito.”

SUPPORT PFLAG!

Bush Nominates Samuel Alito

2005-10-31T12:34:00.000-08:00

"George W. Bush has once again caved to the demands of the far right by nominating staunchly anti-choice Samuel Alito to replace moderate Justice Sandra Day O'Connor on the Supreme Court." - Pro-Choice America

According to Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-VT), the president's decision to nominate the 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals judge "... Is a needlessly provocative nomination. Instead of uniting the country through his choice, the President has chosen to reward one faction of his party, at the risk of dividing the country. Instead he should have rewarded the American people. America could have done better through consultation to select one of the many consensus conservative Republican candidates who could have been overwhelmingly approved by the Senate.”

Great.

So what do we know about Judge Alito? Let's look at the facts:

Samuel Alito, Jr. of the Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit is an anti‐choice jurist.

As a member of the three‐judge panel that heard Planned Parenthood of Southeastern Pennsylvania v. Casey before the case went to the Supreme Court, Alito wrote a dissent in which he argued to uphold even more abortion restrictions than the Supreme Court eventually upheld in its now‐famous decision.

Career:
• Circuit Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit (appointed by former President George H.W. Bush), 1990‐present. Hmmm... He's in with the Bushes...
• U.S. Attorney for the District of New Jersey, 1987‐90.
• Deputy Assistant Attorney General, U.S. Department of Justice, 1985‐87.
• Assistant to the Solicitor General, U.S. Department of Justice, 1981‐85.
• Assistant U.S. Attorney, District of New Jersey, 1977‐81.
• Law Clerk to Judge Leonard Garth, U.S. Court of Appeals, Third Circuit, 1976‐77.
• Law Clerk, Warren, Goldberg & Berman, 1976.

Alito has argued that significant restrictions on abortion are constitutional.
He was among the Third Circuit judges who heard Planned Parenthood of Southeastern Pennsylvania v. Casey before it went to the Supreme Court. While the Third Circuit overturned the spousal‐notification provision of the statute, it upheld the remaining provisions, including a mandatory delay and a biased‐counseling requirement.

Alito also voted to strike down part of an anti‐choice state law, but the decision was based on administrative law not reproductive‐rights law.
In Elizabeth Blackwell Health Center for Women v. Knoll,10 Alito was part of a 2‐1 majority that invalidated two requirements of an anti‐choice Pennsylvania law which made it more difficult for low‐income women to receive funding for medically necessary abortion services. First, the court invalidated a requirement that a low‐income woman who is the victim of rape or incest report the crime to police, including the identity of the offender, in order to receive funding for her abortion. Second, the court invalidated a requirement that the fatal danger to a low‐income woman seeking an abortion as a result of a life‐endangering pregnancy must be certified by two doctors in order for her to receive funding for her care.

Do you really want this man deciding what you can do with your body?
TAKE ACTION!

Fan Mail!

2005-10-30T20:13:00.000-08:00

From: "fraitaz midar" -- combatrigger@hotmail.com
To: "sha ongelungel" -- merirei@yahoo.com
Subject: about Palauan Pride
Date: Sat, 29 Oct 2005 15:02:57 -0400

I don't know who you are. But calling your father imbalanced asshole on Palauan Pride site is not right. Your life story is your business, but don't be using Palau for your benefits. Find another website please. I will agree that some articles are educational, which is very appreciated. I will not sell my pride for anything. Matter fact, I think Palau is the only island standing in the Pacific region that can proudly say I am a 100% Palauan. So take care your business at home and take care yourself.

PALAUAN PRIDE

* * * * *

Now let's look at the facts:

1. The URL of this site is http://www.islanesia.net
Obviously, someone's been reading the wrong site. My fault? No, of course not! I can't be held responsible for the shortcomings of others. Just because you can't distinguish the words "Palauan Pride" from "Islanesia" doesn't mean that I should somehow be held accountable. Learn to read!

2. I don't link PalauanPride to Islanesia for a reason
Islanesia is a personal site where I (and the select few who have co-writing credentials) can write what I please. It may be okay to go impeding on the rights of other's where you're from-- but here in America, I can and will do as I please.

3. What's with the bad grammar? Do you speak English?
Why is it that the few people who feel the need to take me on in this format can't seem to get a firm grasp of the language? Before you decide to come at me with unfounded accusations and ridiculous grammar-- learn to read, write, and speak the language. Don't write to me like you've never encountered English before-- that just wastes your time and mine.

With that said-- please feel free to look around the site and acquaint yourself with ISLANESIA.

Point For Him

2005-10-25T22:11:00.000-07:00

My dad is an [adjective removed so as to not offend the delicate sensibilities of FRAITAZ MIDAR]. My sister will gladly vouch for me on this note.

I love how everything she does, in his eyes, is a reminder of how I've failed him. I love it because it means she thinks and feels. She's a real person. She didn't turn into the monster he envisions his daughter should be. Instead, she has free-will. She questions authority, rather than accepting how things are. She delves under the surface of issues to see them for what they really are. She cares and, in turn, is cared about.

I know it seems like a long haul, and it probably is. As hard for you as it was for me. Probably even harder. But one day, it'll be over. And you'll be free of it all. And neither one of us will ever have to go back there.

In regard to my current situation, I think Kimo just scored a point by proxy.

Knowing What To Do

2005-10-24T13:04:00.000-07:00

I know what I have to do-- I need to do what's best for me in the long run.

But knowing what needs to be done and getting it done are very different.

And damn if it doesn't kill me inside.

A Much Needed Vacation...

2005-10-22T21:21:00.000-07:00

I left the Amtrak station in Tacoma at 8:18am and arrived in Portland at 11:02am. I'll be here until Monday morning ('cause I have my econ class Monday night) just taking in the essence of family.

It's funny how I left here four (almost five!) years ago vowing that I would never step foot back in Portland... And how I'm sitting in my parents' dining room listening to PSAs on WWFM, Palauan radio. While I wouldn't want to live with my parents forever, I wouldn't mind coming back and staying here while I establish myself in the area.

I miss my family, immediate and extended. I miss being able to be around Palauan people and not feel like I might fall victim to a blitz attack. I miss decent public transit-- buses that don't stop running at 8pm.

I almost kind of wish I had to move back.

But then again. I don't.

Shit.

Being A Grown-Up

2005-10-19T07:06:00.000-07:00

So I'm progressing to a more "mature" point in my life where I am faced with life-altering decisions that I'd rather not make...

And it blows!

I issued an ultimatum to someone I love because I had run out of options. And should he decide not to act, then I must act accordingly.

I looked up the word ULTIMATUM this morning, and found this as the definition:

Ultimatum (Ul`ti*ma"tum) (?), n.; pl. E. Ultimatums (#), L. Ultimata (#).
[NL. See Ultimate.]

A final proposition, concession, or condition; especially, the final propositions, conditions, or terms, offered by either of the parties in a diplomatic negotiation; the most favorable terms a negotiator can offer, the rejection of which usually puts an end to the hesitation.
(-- a final demand, the rejection of which may lead to a resort to force or other compelling action by the party presenting the ultimatum. --)

I don't want to be the kind of person who make idle threats, nor do I want to be the kind of person who throws relationships off kilter. At the same time, I cannot continue to alter myself and my goals to suit someone else.

I had a long talk with his uncle and father (as well as my own Mami), and I know that what I am doing is right.

I can only hope he realizes that what I am doing is not out of spite, but out of fear that this will continue throughout our lives. I also pray that he understands the severity of the situation, that he knows this is not a joke or idle threat. And should he intentionally ignore my ultimatum, then I will have to accept the fact that he's just not ready to live his life as a full-fledged adult-- even if I am.

Nothin' Says "I Love You" Like Venereal Diseases!

2005-10-17T19:11:00.000-07:00

Last year, 15% of those tested for chlamydia in Palau were infected. Compare this lovely figure to the roughly 2% infected here in the United States.

I wanted to believe that this figure was off-- but I know it's not. In fact, I'm a little surprised that the figure isn't higher. I don't say this because I have no faith in the forethought of my fellow Palauans-- I say because I have limited faith.

The article I read said that while a majority of the cases were in the 20-29 year old age group, there were some infected as young as fifteen!

FIFTEEN! Are you reading this?!

And while the afflicted are mostly of a younger generation, it's not to say that our elders are unaffected:

"According to Public Health’s communicable disease surveillance office, 'Although these cases appear to be clustered in the younger age group, these result may also reflect the lack of testing among older persons, rather than a lack of disease as it may commonly be asymptomatic or does not show any symptoms,'."

This disturbing news makes two vital revelations:

1. Far too many people are having unprotected sex.
2. Those of you partaking in such risky behavior OBVIOUSLY don't realize the potential consequences of your actions.

So let's discuss chlamydia, shall we?

Chlamydia is a common sexually transmitted disease that is caused by Chlamydia trachomatis. It is often referred to as the "silent" STD because it's symptoms are often mild or entirely absent. While this may seem better than some of the alternative STD-associated symptoms (a burning sensation when urinating, white/yellow/green discharge from the penis, foul-smelling vaginal discharge, or rectal soreness/bleeding), it can also be far more damaging.

When left untreated, chlamydia can wreak havoc. Especially in women!

In 40% of untreated chlamydia cases, the disease can spread into the uterus or fallopian tubes and cause pelvic inflammatory disease. PID causes permanent damage to one's system (think INFERTILITY) and you'll know be reminded of what's happened to you by the complimentary chronic pelvic pain that follows. And if the PID doesn't make you wish you were dead, then the ectopic pregnancy might just kill you! Ectopic pregnancies are potentially fatal because the pregnancy occurs outside of the uterus, generally in your fallopians tubes, and can cause your organs to burst like a balloon. *POP*

Ladies, are you worried yet? What if I told you that women with chlamydia are five times more likely to contract HIV and eventually AIDS? Magic Johnson may be doing well, but do YOU really want to risk it?

And let's not forget about the men! Chlamydia can cause you chronic pain and leave you sterile! And if the thought of shooting blanks isn't enough to make you think twice about going bareback-- let me tell you about Reiter's syndrome. It's characterized by lesions and inflammation. Just look:

What's even worse is that you'll likely be afflicted in your eyes or in your urethra! It's not very pleasant, nor is it something you should have to deal with...

So how do you prevent all this crap from happening to you?

USE YOUR FRIGGIN' HEADS!

Use a damn condom! And get tested regularly! If you have chlamydia, you're better off knowing sooner than later. Chlamydia can be treated with a single dose of antibiotic (azithromycin), so it's not the end of the world if you've got it.

If you've been involved in risky activity, just go see your doctor and take some tests. It's not just chlamydia you're at risk of getting and it's not just you that it'll affect if you don't act.

If you care even a little bit about yourself, the person you're with, your family, and your friends-- you'll be smart.

*Sources*

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Sexually Transmitted Diseases Treatment Guidelines 2002. MMWR 2002;51(no. RR-6).

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Sexually Transmitted Disease Surveillance, 2002. Atlanta, GA: U.S. Department of Health and Human Service, September 2003.

Stamm W E. Chlamydia trachomatis infections of the adult. In: K. Holmes, P. Sparling, P. Mardh et al (eds). Sexually Transmitted Diseases, 3rd edition. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1999, 407-422.

Weinstock H, Berman S, Cates W. Sexually transmitted disease among American youth: Incidence and prevalence estimates, 2000. Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health 2004; 36: 6-10.

How to Define Pain/Suffering

2005-10-16T17:44:00.000-07:00

Pain and suffering are two very effective ways in which a person can learn an important lesson. Why do I mention this? Well because recently I've had this English assignment in which I write a narrative essay which retells a personal moment of suffering and learning. Or painful education, as the project is called.

Yet I realize as an Pacific Islander at a predominantly white upper-class school, my perception of pain/suffering varies greatly from anyone else's. Let me tell you a little story:

For this essay, I decided to write about the first time I personally encountered discrimination, or racism to be exact. Back then I was about six years old and my family and I decided to check out a new record shop that opened at the mall. Unfortunately, the employees broke off and followed all of us when we were in the store because they had this mentality of "colored people steal." So anyway, my dad was followed in the gospel section, my mom got watched on in the classic country section, and my sister and I were practically cornered while we were looking at the Pocahontas soundtrack or whatever was popular at the time. You gotta admit that is a pretty painful experience right there because although it may not be physical pain, mental pain can cause so much more damage. Also, being young and impressionable, it kind of disorts your view on the once bubblegum world you adored. And most of all, it is a major blow to anyone as a human. The fact that anyone would jump to an assumption on the basis of your skin color is pretty damn painful.

Now let's fast forward to today. I'm sitting here trying to revise my paper and reading over my peer edits, looking for helpful input from my peers. Then all of a sudden my eyes land on a single phrase that makes me cringe. Look at what comments I recieved from a fellow classmate who read my narrative:

Along with the lack of pain, where does Yan learn anything?

WTF?!!? Seriously, this is the kinda thing that angers me and makes me feel bad for people all the same...I'm pissed that people can be so ignorant even after it's been clearly put out in front of them to see. Yet at the same time I feel bad because this person isn't gonna make it out in the world if they keep this mentality up. Either way, it's clear that people don't have the same understanding of pain and/or suffering.

Let's Discuss Palauan Money...

2005-09-26T07:49:00.000-07:00

So there seems to be a debate on Okedyulabeluu about whether or not the top-paid members of Belau's government are really deserving of such high pay...

"Twenty Five Delegates: Bells, Toribiong, Yamada, Ngiraikelau, Mariur, Secharraimul, Idechong, Mesebeluu, Techitong, Isechal, Gulibert, Anastacio, Patris, Carlos, Ngiraiwet, Ngirturong

Each recieves an annual salary of Fifty-Thousand Dollars and Eight Cents - $50,000.08

*************************

Nine Senators: Asanuma, Diaz, Dengokl, Koshiba, Otto, Reklai, Seid, Tmetuchel, Whipps

Each recieves an annual salary of Fifty-Thousand Dollars and Eight Cents - $50,000.08

**************************

ROP President Tommy Remengesau,Jr. recieves an annual salary of $50,000.08

ROP Vice President Elias Camsek Chin recieves an annual salary of $45,000.02"

So in the spirit of my own opinionated-ness, here's my two cents:

Sunny W wrote:
"i dont know about u mosubes, but i dont wanna work my butt off in school and earning a master or ph.d and getting paid less for all my effort..if thats the case, then i dont think i wanna work at Belau after getting my masters..if u earned it, u will get paid accordingly..thats how the system works..thats my philosophy"

This was in response to the comments of my new favorite commentor, MOUSUBES. (Opinionated and frank, but also well-informed and well-spoken... Always admirable, and a rare quality in Palauans!)

While I *do* agree with Sunny about not wanting all my pursuits of higher education to go to waste, I also feel that the nation is growing too big for it's britches. Backwards attitudes aside, Belau is making great strides in becoming a well-rounded sovereign nation. Unfortunately, it overestimates itself in thinking that such high incomes for its public official are both feasible and of sound logic.

MOUSUBES puts it plainly: "All Palau has to offer is tuna and tourism." This being the case, what precious resources Belau has access to need to be routed to the more beneficial.

Having seen, first-hand, the routing of goverment money for personal expenditures-- I worry about the current state of the nation and its future. What happens when a nation runs out of money because of personal mis-spending? What happens to the youth and the elderly when there are no longer any resources to help support them? What happens when a nation is struck with an intellectual anemia because the current brain-drain has gone up exponentially and there is nothing left to offer all those who left in pursuit of higher education?

Seriously-- What happens?

Mall Walking and Lack of Coffee

2005-09-26T07:27:00.000-07:00

It's just after 7am on a Monday morning, and I am sitting in the middle of the Tacoma Mall Food Court contemplating the all-time low I have reached in my life. No one under the age of 50 has any business being here unless they are clocked in to their job, yet here I am. I'm sitting here lamenting my entry into the world of MALL WALKERS.

While I realize the health benefits of being a MALL WALKER and have no ill-will against these kindly, older, individuals-- I am also younger than most of their grandchildren and cannot relate to the early morning camraderie. At 7am, I am tired and cranky. I am angry to be awake when I only went to bed a mere five hours ago. Three and a half hours of sleep is not nearly enough slumber to compensate for being around the perked-up elderly here at the mall.

For the love of God-- even Starbucks hasn't opened! Doesn't anyone realize the consequences of opening so early without the sweet benefits of caffeine?! How do these people live?!

It is safe for me to say that this morning sucks. And at this point, it seems that no amount of nicotine and white chocolate mocha will console me. It is early. I'm tired. And the youngest person in this God forsaken building, aside from myself, is still older than both of my parents!

Matzo Ball Soup!

2005-09-01T10:32:00.000-07:00

So I made matzo ball soup for breakfast today, and Kimo tried it for the first time.

Kimo: You know what'd be really good in this soup?
Sha: No... What?
Kimo: Bacon!
Sha: *Jaw drops*

*Sigh* My boyfriend is such a doof...

Culture! 99 Cents per Pound!

2005-08-10T04:30:00.000-07:00

[Thanks to Yan for the edit and David for his interest!]

My family hails from the tiny island nation of Palau, a beautiful archipelago located between Guam and the Philippines. But when I tell this to strangers, no one thinks of our beautiful abai (traditional meeting houses) or age-old ngloik (dances)-- when I say my family hails from the South Pacific, people immediately picture the Bali Hai-exoticism of scantily clad Hula dancers and Tikis. A brisk walk through any local mall will reveal that my predicament is a constant source of irritation for many others: dashboard Hula girls void of any Hawaiian characteristics, Indian bindis and henna, crystals used by “real” Native American shamans-- and this is all in one window display! Seeing this day in and day out has led me to only one possible conclusion-- cultural appropriation damages the permanence and significance of cultural property.

Prior to European interference and modern tourism, the Hula dance was strictly a religious tradition to the native Hawaiians. Today, the word Hula conjures up images of provocative women dancing in grass skirts. Accordng to Haunani and Mililani Trask, outspoken leaders in the Hawaiian sovereignty movement, tourism could not flourish without the Hula and the beautiful Hawaiian women who perform it (Trask 2). Due to the influx of foreigners to Hawaii via tourism, Hula has gone from being a sacred religious rite to being the icon for tropical kitsch. People can walk into their local shopping center and purchase their own coconut bras and grass skirts, thus transforming themselves into “authentic” Hula dancer. Rarely do any of these people recognize their cultural appropriation as being to the detriment of the Hawaiian culture, as is the case for many tourists. They escape their hectic (though mundane) lives and relish in the paradise known as Hawaii. Today, tourists outnumber Hawaiian residents by six to one and they outnumber native Hawaiians by thirty to one (Trask, 2). Few of these tourists, or the rest of the world for that matter, have a genuine appreciation for Hula or the Hawaiian culture.

Culture appropriation has also poorly affected the Hawaiian language. When an online search is ran for the word hapa the result is thousands of sites about people of mixed Asian ancestry. In Hawaiian, hapa means half (or part) Hawaiian. But people throughout cyberspace and several organizations scattered along the West Coast are now misusing the word to describe their mixed heritage. A popular site called Hapas.com, run by a Chinese woman to promote cultural awareness among the Amerasian community in California, lists people deemed hapa. Much to the ire of the Hawaiian community, none of the people listed are of Hawaiian ancestry. Another popular site, HapaHaole.org, posts this note of inclusion prominently on their site:
“This site is an organization of biracial people. Although Hapa and Haole are Hawaiian terms, you don’t have to be from Hawaii, or half Caucasian to be part of this organization. You don’t have to be exactly half Asian either. If you are part Asian or Pacific Islander, you are a Hapa, and you can join,” (HapaHaole.com).

The title of the site, HapaHaole, directly refers to people who are half-Hawaiian and half-Caucasian. Like Hapas.com, HapaHaole.org has no members of Hawaiian ancestry. While this point has been brought up repeatedly by people of native Hawaiian ancestry, their critics argue back what they call themselves is no one else’s business. The mixed-Asian movement’s blatant disregard for the Hawaiian culture has led to much controversy over the word hapa. It is apparent that, without strong cultural intervention, the Hawaiian language is destined to become as kitsch as other facets of the Hawaiian culture.

In the last five years, elements of Indian culture have been adopted by celebrities and made into mainstream pop culture trends. Celebrity fashion icons such as Madonna and Gwen Stefani have been seen sporting bindis and tradition mehndi designs on more than one occasion. Mehndi tattoos were traditionally worn by Indian women when they married, but are now as commonplace as any other teen fad. Many Indians lament over the commercialization of their culture, citing mehndi tattoos as one of the most notorious examples. Indian psychologist Bina Parehk has studied the issue carefully and concluded that the biggest sore spot for the Indian community is that “…There is no context. What happens in the end is that stereotype is reinforced. which allows Westerners to comfortably take what they want from the culture while telling themselves that the natives are too downtrodden to enjoy them in any case,” (Malhotra-Signh, 2). Parehk refers to the stereotype that Indians are too impoverished in their native country to truly enjoy aspects of their culture. Some proponents of cultural appropriation claim that what they do profits the root communities because of the generated interest in culture and the country itself-- though it is very rarely the root communities that benefit from the sale of cultural novelties such as henna kits and bindis.

For years, Native Americans have been victims of egregious cultural appropriation. One of the most common instances of cultural appropriation against Native Americans is the New Age neo-mysticism/shamanism that has saturated American popular culture. The Western Spirit Enrichment Center in Sedona, Arizona is a prime example of cultural appropriation to the detriment of the root culture. The center capitalizes on Native American culture by offering shamanic healing and workshops about the divine gift of intuition. The owners of the center, Marian and Gary Carol, are expected to have some sort of indigenous lineage-- but they have neither the ancestry nor the credentials to practice and promote their commercialized spirituality. Marian, the so-called spiritual teacher/visionary, holds a degree in Theater Arts from Loyola University. Her husband, Gary, delves into his native spirituality through Yoga and Tai Chi-- which leads the reasonable person to wonder whether he realizes the cultural differences between his preferred practices. Many prominent members of various Native American communities have investigated and documented instances of cultural appropriation. Russell Means, a prominent activist for indigenous rights, says

“The process is ultimately intended to supplant Indians, even in areas of their own customs and spirituality. In the end, non-Indians will have complete power to define what is and is not Indian, even for Indians. When this happens, the last vestiges of real Indian society and Indian rights will disappear. Non-Indians will then ‘own’ our heritage and ideas as thoroughly as they now claim to own our land and resources,” (Jones, 1).
Due to the ubiquitous nature of the so-called Plastic Shaman, society is now inundated with misconceptions of native culture. Cultural appropriation is the predominant reason why so few non-Native Americans realize that there is no singular spirituality-- that beliefs, ceremonies, and rituals are tribal-specific.

This is not a diatribe against those who have devoted their lives to understanding the cultures of others. I commend those who have immersed themselves in other cultures and have gained a true understanding of what it means to be from another culture. What I will not condone is the reckless disregard for entire peoples that comes with cultural appropriation. The theft of cultural property goes far beyond insulting, it is tantamount to a cultural massacre. And while I realize that globalization inevitably leads to the co-mingling of capitalism and culture, I refuse to stand by and watch as indigenous cultures are decimated for the sake of profit.

I have long toyed with the idea of establishing a cultural preservation center in Palau, much like the Polynesian Cultural Center was established in Hawaii or the Catawba Cultural Center was established in South Carolina. They have used their allure as a tourist meccas to bring in tourists and educate them. All the typical tourists activities, such as trying native delicacies or watching performances, are included-- but people walk away knowing more about the people and their history than they could have learned elsewhere. Or perhaps I could work to establish a institution similar to the Indian Sanskriti Foundation, which works to preserve and promote Indian art and culture around the world. If I am to prevent my culture from becoming a novelty item on some shelf twenty years down the road, then I need to act now. The key to my culture’s prolonged existence lies in educating the masses.

Works Cited

DeCorse, C R, and R Scupin. Anthropology: A Global Perspective. 5th ed. Upper Saddle River: Pearson Education, Inc., 2004.

Ennis, Dan. “Sharing our Wabanaki Perspective.” 1999. Awareness of Racism and Cultural Appropriation. N. pag. 8 Aug. 2005 .

“Hawaiian Hapas’ Response to the Illicit Use of ‘Hapa’.” RealHapas. Mar. 2004. The Hawaiian Foundation, Inc. 28 July 2005 .

Jones, Mariah. “Spiritual Commodification and Misappropriation.” Sonoma County Free Press Summer 2005. 8 Aug. 2005 .

Malhotra Singh, Angelina. “Brownspolitation! From France to India, American Cultural Imperialism Goes Eastward.” India Currents 30 June 1999: 30. 1 Aug. 2005 .

Trask, Mililani, and Haunani Kay Trask. “The Aloha Industry: For Hawaiian Women, Tourism is Not a Neutral Industry.” Cultural Survival Quarterly 16.4 (Oct. 1992): 50. 1 Aug. 2005 .

¡Vive la Revolución de Tequila!: A Look at the Lushdom Revolution

2005-07-27T16:14:00.000-07:00

Panaceas, or cure-alls, have been sought out since the dawn of time. And from mundane to exotic, such remedies have been peddled for nearly as long. More often than not, the elixirs in question are no more than modern snake oils-- False remedies with deceptive claims that do nothing more than disappoint. Yet one true universal remedy has been available to the world for eons-- alcohol. No other substance in the world has the ability to take away pain, relieve insomnia, make socializing easier, make others more attractive, and intensify talents-- all while tasting so good! Though many overlook the wondrous healing powers of alcohol, there is a growing population of those who have embraced it and all its glory. These avant-garde individuals have banded together to form the Lush Revolution, a movement that aspires to spread the word of alcohol to all those who seek relief. The Lush Revolution’s doctrine teaches of the five distinct stages of Lushdom, a liquid voyage to nirvana that can be accomplished as often as Lushes wish.

The initial stage of Lushdom is referred to as Preliminary Relaxation, occurring when the new Lushes takes their irst drink. This introductory phase typically lacks any physical manifestation aside from an immediate desire for another drink. Though the first drink can vary from a pint of beer to a fancy cocktail, it is always the mildest drink-- containing the least amount of alcohol, so as to ease the newcomers into Lushdom. The premise of Preliminary Relaxation is to celebrate the initiation of newcomers into the movement and their acceptance of alcohol and all its grandeur.

Preliminary Relaxation is almost immediately followed by Welcoming Warmth, the stage where the second drink is consumed. The second drink is typically consumed faster than the first drink, with the new Lush anticipating the revelry and excitement of the following stages. Welcoming Warmth derives its name from the warm sensation that permeates through the Lush’s body upon finishing that second (more potent) drink. At this point, it is common for new Lushes to “break the seal”, or make their first trip to the restroom. Unlike their seasoned comrades, new Lushes do not anticipate the relationship between the amount of liquid consumed and the amount of liquid that must be displaced after consumption. After reaching the final stage of Lushdom several times, the new Lushes learn to expect such incidents.

Loss of reticence is another characteristic of Welcoming Warmth, though it is gradual process. New Lushes begin to open up to their senior Lushes, discussing superficial issues such as entertainment or current events. Over the next couple of drinks, new Lushes will continue to open up-- eventually touching on more personal issues, most commonly relationships and coitus. After another couple of drinks, they will enter into their next stage of Lushdom.

The third stage of Lushdom is known as Plastered Proficiency-- or as veteran Lushes refer to it-- the Talent Portion. Characterized by the an overwhelming desire to sing and dance, Plastered Proficiency occurs when the new Lushes temporarily possesses immense talent. Their singing and dancing rivals even the most celestial voices and masterful choreography. During this stage of Lushdom, Lushes simply cannot be outdone. They enjoy an ethereal style and grace that can only be attributed to the marvelous miracle-- alcohol. In addition, their surroundings are amplified. Voices become louder, lights become brighter, stories become funnier, and people become more attractive. The attraction to others becomes more pronounced in the final stage of Lushdom, but increases steadily until then.

Illuminated Inebriation is the fourth and penultimate stage of Lushdom, achieved sometime after the consumption of the sixth drink. This astonishing stage is distinguished by a momentary intensity of mental capacity. For the duration of no more than a couple of drinks, Lushes possesses nearly all the knowledge in the world. All the problems that have led them to seek out the Lush Revolution suddenly become clear, solutions coming to them with ease. Discussions about relationships and coitus become more in-depth, the Lush now revealing their inner-most fantasies and concerns. Though rare, some Lushes have been known to speak in entirely foreign tongues when in Illuminated Inebriation. Others have been known to transcend philosophy, grasping the true nature of the universe and its principles.

Illuminated Inebriation is an amazing stage that can only be outdone by the final stage, Ultimate Lushdom. As briefly mentioned before, increased attraction to others is a fundamental component to Ultimate Lushdom. Throughout all the stages of Lushdom, the alcohol transforms the people around the Lush-- these people, who are typically mediocre in looks, gradually become enchantingly beautiful. In addition to the transformation of the surroundings, a final transformation overcomes Lushes-- an all-encompassing and profound love for everyone present. When combined with the striking splendor of his/her surroundings, the love felt by Lushes leads to a coming-together with other Lushes. This is often referred to as “hooking up”, though the phrase is colloquial. The traditional name for this event is “fling” or “one night stand”. Regardless of the idiom, Ultimate Lushdom is achieved once the carnal act has taken place. The Lushes will then proceed to fall asleep, without incident. Upon waking from their night of passion, neither Lush will have any memory of being in flagrante delicto or any of the stages following Welcoming Warmth. They will, instead, have an amusing new tale to share with their fellow Lushes in the nights of Lushdom to come.

For those who seek liberation from all that troubles them, there is no greater remedy than alcohol. The Lush Revolution provides relief and happiness. Whether it is sleep deprivation, depression, or a longing for spiritual discernment-- alcohol is the key. People have sought the help of doctors, therapists, clergy, or friends for generations; all the while, they have overlooked the panacea that was poured before them. The Lush Revolution continues to thrive and will always be in the background to help those who are willing to seek it out-- Will you be the next to find healing and happiness?

Yan's Islanesian Rant Debut

2005-07-17T23:54:00.000-07:00

so here's one point i want to make on why the system is messed up...

So today I was with some cousins driving down Mill Plain in Vancouver when we realized that the guy in the red Ford Taurus behind us was...VERY intoxicated. I mean this guy had his head tilted back, his eyes barely open, and as Kassie explained, "he was laughing like he heard the world's funniest joke." And might I add he was the only person in his car?

But anyway, this guy is swerving everywhere, climbing up on the curbs, grinding his tires against them, driving in two lanes similtaneously...At one point he was on the sidewalk and I was more than sure he was going to hit a pole head on. But that wasn't really our concern: there were too many people on the road for an idiot like this to be on the road endangering people.

So we write down his plate number and call the authorities about it while the lady in the car next to us pulled up and was like, "that man is drunk and there are children out here! call the police because he shouldn't be here" and whatnot. The first time we call, we give them the plate number, describe the car, and tell them he's gonna hit something or someone if he's not stopped. And what does the lady on the phone say? Basically that she can't do anything. So here we are asking her, "what if he hurts someone?" and she says there's nothing authorities can do. BULLPUCKY!!!

So we watch this guy as he continues to hit things down the way and figure that it won't be so bad as long as he doesn't get on the freeway since people can all see he's messed up and they can avoid him. This driver is slowing down and stopping at every traffic light, including the green ones. But then the guy exits onto the freeway, we follow him and call cops again to try to report this guy while we're screaming coz he almost runs into the divider, cement wall, and almost hits 3 cars merging into the lane and almost hits a few more other cars just trying to change lanes.

So then we see 2 police cops stopped and talking to a homeless guy, so we stop to ask if they can arrest the drunk driver who's bound to kill someone on the road because of his reckless driving. The cops say they can't do it because they are doing a report on the homeless guy. Where were the other cops? Sitting in the second squad car and WAITING. And the idiot driver goes and parks his car (or at least tried to) at a bar, of all places. At this point, we're just so fed up with none of the "authorities" responding to an actual threat that we go back home.

The moral of this story: people who have the power to help and should, don't always respond. A homeless man gets more attention from police than an obvious drunk driver who's driving on the sidewalks. After about three or more attempts to get this idiot driver off the road, he's still somewhere out there behind the wheel. The system doesn't work because they tell us to be vigilant about these kinds of things and when we make every attempt to put a stop to the wrongs that can have tragic outcomes, there is nothing but silence.

What can we do to be heard?

Back To Business...

2005-06-15T23:52:00.000-07:00

Getting back to the true nature of the site, I'd like to bring up some real issues that are worth discussing... The 2nd Palauan ConCon... The website URL is [http://www.palauconcon2.com] in the event anyone else is intrigued by all the proposed mayhem...

Proposal No. 2-23 Amend Article IV, Section 13 of the Constitution
Discussion: The issue of the marriageas an “institution”, procreation and morality were discussed. That same sex marriage is not consistent with the underlying principles of traditional law.

Recommendation: While there was consensus that perhaps the original provisions of the Constitution and the underlying principles of traditional law addresses this issue, that it be brought the Convention for further discussion.

Proposal No. 2-62 Amend Article IV, Section 13 of the Constitution. Same sex marriage.
Discussion: For “all marriages contracted within the Republic of Palau shall be between a man and woman.” This was discussed with Proposal 2-23 and 2-03.

Recommendation: While there was consensus that perhaps the original provisions of the Constitution and the underlying principles of traditional law addresses this issue, that it be brought the Conventionfor further discussion.

So obviously Belau, like many other nations, is not prepared to deal with this issue outside of our religious convictions... Fine. While my opinions and beliefs, which are no doubt controversial, clash with this particular issue-- I can concede to that fact that Belau is a very traditional small nation, and will be for generations to come.

Proposal No. 2-05 Amend Article IV, Section 5 of the Constitution: To delete the protection of special populations.

Discussion: The discussion brought up the issues of preferential treatment for the special populations in Palau for example, handicap parking etc. Special populations must be accorded preferential treatment even among the Palauan citizens."

Now as far as I know, the Constitution states:

"Every person shall be equal under the law and shall be entitled to equal protection. The government shall take no action to discriminate against any person on the basis of sex, race, place of origin, language, religion or belief, social status or clan affiliation except for the preferential treatment of citizens, for the protection of minors, elderly, indigent, physically or mentally handicapped, and other similar groups, and in matters concerning intestate succession and domestic relations. No person shall be treated unfairly in legislative or executive investigations."

I have to be perfectly honest-- I live in the United States and have for all my life, so the inner-workings of Palauan society are often beyond my grasp. With that said, I want to express my confusion and lack of understanding for the proposed amendment. Perhaps there are things that go on in Belau that make the stripping of rights feasible-- But as an outsider... I just don't get it. What on Earth could make people want to make life more difficult for those who've already been dealt a bum hand?

1) Proposal No. 2-03 Amend Article IV, Section 6 of the Constitution: To disallow the government from depriving a person of life.

Discussion: Capital punishment, abortion, euthanasia and public safety issues came up as point of discussion.

Recommendation: To bring this issue to the Committee of the Whole for further debate."

So I don't know if they allow abortions in Belau much less capital punishment, but it would seem to me that a nation that governs through their traditions and religious conviction is not a nation prepared for such issues... But that's just me being obnoxious and liberal again...

Okay, now comes the part where people will want to send me hate mail-- My stance on traditional authority versus bureaucratic government...

Again, this is the American-Palauan speaking out-- So forgive me if I don't understand and educate me so that I will... [The following proposals were taken from Okedyulabeluu, a kick-ass site that you'd be a fool to overlook]

Proposal 2-196 introduced by Patrick Tellei and Gov. John Skebong - "All publications and documents, including research and works of art shall require the consultation, review, approval, and endorsement of the Council of Chiefs before it may be published."

Okay, so I realize that Belau is a traditional land in many, many aspects-- And I also realize the need to preserve aspects of the culture which some may feel we are losing touch with... But honestly, how can this be a good idea?! Are we enforcing our own skewed Taliban or following in the footsteps of Russia? Because if that's the basis of this asinine proposal-- We can look to history to tell us that it's not going to work! Seriously, censorship is not a step toward progress... Think about it...

Proposal 2-197 introduced by Patrick Tellei and Gov. John Skebong - "A budget for the operation and implementation of the Council of Chiefs, to include compensaton for each chief".

Wow... So from my point of view, being a traditional leader should be considered an honor. Anyone who truly values their title as something other than a means of distinguishing themselves from us "common folk" should be honored that they are looked to when the preservation of our culture and traditions is in the limelight. It's one thing for taxpayers to bear the financial burden of their elected officials-- But to have to pay someone to hold a title that is basically a birthright... The eras of feudal class and serfdom ended long ago.

The following proposals I'll need to address together:

Proposal 2-198 introduced by Patrick Tellei and Gov. John Skebong - "Commencement of diplomatic relations with foreign nations, shall require the approval of the Council of Chiefs".

Proposal 2-199 introduced by Patrick Tellei and Gov. John Skebong - "The Council of Chiefs as prescribed by law, shall serve as a check and balance between democracy and traditions".

Proposal 2-200 introduced by Patrick Tellei and Gov. John Skebong - "The Council of Chiefs shall have the authority to introduce legislation regarding customary and traditional matters to the OEK".

Proposal 2-28 introduced by Patrick Tellei and Sandra Pierantozzi - "Establishment of a fourth branch of government called House of Traditional Leaders".

ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME?!

Okay, so I really think a decision needs to be made about where this nation is headed or plans to head... Because establishing the Council of Chiefs as their own branch of government and giving them as much power as some seem to think they need-- It sounds either counter-progressive or disadvantageous... Wouldn't it be more efficient to just run for public office if your intent is to have a say in the nation's doings? If we become entirely governed by our old-world traditions (notice I didn't say OUTDATED) then aren't we losing a sense of democracy?

And to quote Okedyulabeluu:

"This reminds me of the toppling of Saddam Hussein when the Iraqi's came out celebrating and greeting the coalition troops saying the now famous words ":Democracy, Whisky, Sexy". I'll take democracy anytime."

This is just my take on what I read-- If any of the factual statements were inaccurate, let me know. It is not my intent to misinform the public.

It is my intent to make my opinion known and to get people talking, even if it only is slander...

IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!

2005-06-14T01:10:00.000-07:00

So after what seemed like the world's longest hiatus, I'm finally back. Most of it actually had to do with server issues and hardware failure though... Not my fault.

Anyway, it was recently Presidents' Day for us Palauans up in the Pacific Northwest-- And while I managed to stay out of the limelight this year, I did manage to get a few decent photos.

My love and affection to my IMPORTANTEST girls: Yan, Jaz, Kim, & Kas... Queens of the 3-Lettered Names! Hope to do it bigger and better next year!

2005-06-14T01:09:00.000-07:00

Is that a morning-after shot or what?!

2005-06-14T01:08:00.000-07:00

We each had beef hash and eggs... Too bad there was no SPAM-- Nothin' says good morning quite like SPAM & eggs!

2005-06-14T01:07:00.000-07:00

The next morning, the three of us went to breakfast-- Leaving the rest of the group to nurse their hangovers... (J/K-- No one was hungover!)

2005-06-14T01:06:00.001-07:00

Lookin' a little squinty Yan...

2005-06-14T01:06:00.000-07:00

That's mean cousin Victor shying away from the limelight... Obviously, he didn't inherit *that* gene...

2005-06-14T01:04:00.001-07:00

Uh... We weren't quite sure what the point of this one was, but we liked it!

2005-06-14T01:04:00.000-07:00

Junior, Kas, & Yan with their drinks... Don't worry-- The minors are just sippin' on Coke!

2005-06-14T01:01:00.001-07:00

The sisters reppin' Palauan*Pride and Islanesia!

2005-06-14T01:01:00.000-07:00

The sisters...

2005-06-14T00:59:00.000-07:00

Let me show you a more "expanded" view...

2005-06-14T00:58:00.000-07:00

Later that evening...

2005-06-14T00:57:00.000-07:00

Me (in the visor) and the "importantest" women in my life: Jaz, Kim, Yan, & Kas... Apparently none of us can manage a name beyond three letters...

FINALLY!!!

2005-03-08T21:55:00.000-08:00

So after a brief internet-free-induced hiatus, I'm back! Kimo got my internet all hooked up at the new house, so I can be back to my web-nerdin' ways! YAY!

Per Lil' Yan...

2005-01-21T10:21:00.000-08:00

So after ranting on about my latent talents,
My beloved lil' tita reminded me that I use to sing...

*Sigh*

So for your amusement, here it is:

Click here to hear Sha pretend she knows how to sing...

Warning:
Because this was done when I was young and silly,
it's not properly mixed & extremely loud...
I advise you to turn down your volume before clicking!

Cultural Trepidation

2005-01-20T18:18:00.000-08:00

[Before you jump to any conclusions about the contents of this piece,
let me clarify that my intention is not to harangue or point fingers.
This is merely the result of my experiences within my own microcosm.]

Every person, regardless of their ethnicity, dislikes somethings about their own culture. This does not suggest that they are self-loathing or disregard their own people, but rather is a testament to being a conscious human.

As a generalized population, we Palauans are gossipmongers. We talk about whomever, whatever, whenever. We throw around the word tulechoid nonchalantly because gossip is a very basic, fundamental part of our culture. Whether we want to believe it or not, we simply could not function in the typical Palauan-way with being tulechoid. I titled this piece Cultural Trepidation because this integral facet of our being is the very aspect of our culture that I find excruciatingly painful.

I have seen the various results of being tulechoid. I have witnessed strangers coming together and families torn apart. I have been both embraced and ostracized because of other peoples' words. And the odds are, as a Palauan, you have too. Our attitudes border complacency, be the results of our actions positive or negative.

As a child, my family boasted to anyone who would listen about my precocity, how smart and talent I was-- With no regard to how it might affect me later on. Any person within earshot knew my reading level and mid-term grades before I could be introduced to them. My world seemed to revolve around being dutiful and impressing others.

Conformity was instilled in me as though it were a value, because Palauans who stood out were talked about. "Everything you say and do reflects on our family," my parents repeated like a mantra. My so-called successes were their success, a testament to their great parenting. My failures, and there were many, were swept under the rug as quickly as possible-- So people would not talk.

As I've grown older, my family has been forced to eat their own words-- People did talk. In a matter of four years, I've managed to gain a reputation that mocks everything I was suppose to be! Between the smoking, piercings, tattoos, and short-lived sham of a marriage-- It's hard to imagine that I'm the same girl my family revered just a decade and a half ago.

But it wasn't just my family that had me all riled up to write about tulechoid-- Not my immediate family, anyway. It's been various Palauan I've encountered over the years.

During my first semester of college, I attended Chaminade University in Honolulu. At the time, I was attempting to have a long-distance relationship with someone who had a lot of connections to the Palauan community on Oahu. While I thought this relationship was beneficial, given that I was in Honolulu-- I ended up with a very undeserved (in my opinion) reputation that I only discovered after meeting a Palauan girl outside Ala Moana Mall who began our conversation with "Ooooh, you're Sha from Chaminade..." Needless to say, I left the state of Hawaii with absolutely no desire to ever return.

Upon returning to the mainland, I moved with the same boyfriend up to Washington state-- Where he did his best to introduce me into the Palauan community. While the relationship ended soon after, I spent the next six months meeting new Palauans who would begin our conversations with "Ooooh, kau ke mechas ra So-and-So?" My first reaction was often shock, as I didn't know who these people were-- But they always seemed to know me.

Next was my now infamous short sham of a marriage, which had no positive effects on my life-- Other than convincing me never to have a relationship with a Palauan ever again. This brief era sparked more controversy about me than I ever could have fathomed. Aside from being briefly disowned by my family, I had to deal with my spouse's family-- Who despised me in the first place. Long story short, my divorce was finalized in November 2003 (three months after my separation) and I still continue to hear rumors regarding that time in my life.

Fast forward to the present:

I've learned to live with the more disadvantageous aspects of our culture by distancing myself from its core. I live my life away from the greater Palauan community, which allows me to continue embracing our culture in its entirety.

I've come to accept that I should expect people to talk because it's who we are. As much as I abhor tulechoid, I'm just as guilty as you are. And you are just as guilty as the next Palauan. We cannot escape ourselves. We can only learn to be more respectful with our words, and to speak accurately. If people care to know who I am, I would prefer they get their information properly-- Not from some person across the country I've never met who heard something about me...

Just think on it a bit.

Latent Possibilities?

2005-01-20T16:37:00.000-08:00

I thought about my Mami's disgustingly over-talented family, and realized that [to date] I have no musical abilities. Hoping that my musical talent was simply a latent gift, I spent a greater part of today trying to discover it...

Utilizing the Comcast OnDemand guitar lessons that have been so readily available for a few weeks now, I grabbed Kimo's guitar to see if I had it in me. Much to my disappointment, I can barely get my hand around the damned guitar neck-- Much less reach the third fret on the B string.

So guitars are officially out.
[Though I might have better luck with a smaller stringed instrument,
like the ukulele or mandolin...]

Having watched two nights of American Idol, I have no misconceptions about my singing voice. It's not ear-piercingly horrid, but I will never make it beyond the occasional drunken karaoke party.

And vocal chords are out as well.

I discovered in fourth grade that I preferred having long nails to being able to play the violin, so that automatically dropped from my already-tiny list of potential instruments.

I've always owned a keyboard, though I've never been able to do much with the damned instrument... I learned in high school that my brain simply isn't capable of grasping the classical method-- But that's not such a big deal... There must be tons of keyboard players out there who can't decipher musical notes to save their lives! Otherwise they'd be playing the piano! Right?

So I'm giving my keyboard another chance-- Hoping that this latent gift is just really, really latent.

And if all else fails--

There's always the kazoo!

As Stolen From Lil' Yan

2005-01-06T01:11:00.000-08:00

1. WHATS ON YOUR MIND NOW?
I know I should go to bed, but...

2. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Aqua Teen Hunger Force on the TV

3. MODEL OF YOUR CELLPHONE?
Sanyo something

4. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Soup de Crock Pot

5. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
SHINY!!! (Just like Yan)

6. WHAT DO YOU DO DURING YOUR CHILL TIME?
I try to sleep in as much as possible, but I usually end up on the comp...

7. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Jaz

8. THE FIRST THING YOU THINK ABOUT WHEN YOU SEE THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Asshole... Unless it's family or Kimo.

9. AUTO OR MANUAL CAR?
Auto, for lack of ability to drive the manual...

10. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Thanksgiving

11. FAVORITE PLACE?
Portland with my lil' tita!

12. FAVORITE SPORTS?
I like to watch boxing... I like it a lot...

13. DO U WEAR CONTACTS?
Yes, but not as often as I should...

14. SIBLINGS AND THEIR AGES?
Charles (Young-ish), Johnny (Also Young-ish), Yan (15)

15. THE COOLEST WAY YOU HAVE TO RELEASE PRESSURE?
Listening to my "Mad As Hell" mix.

16. THINGS I HATE MOST
Idiocy in my customers, ignorance, apathy, most "-isms" (like racism...), not living up to my own expectations, parents who live vicariously through their children... So much to list...

17. WHAT IS THE BEST THING ABOUT BEING A GIRL?
Jeebus-- What's not great?!

18. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY?
Ideally, comedies-- But scary can be fun too!

19. MY BEST FRIENDS ARE:
Obviously weird in the head to be friends with me...

20. CHOCOLATES OR FLOWERS?
Hmmm... Good question.

21. WHEN IM STUCK IN A JAM I ???
Get annoyed.

22.Text or Call?
I'm a talker, but texting is so convenient!

23. IF YOU COULD TURN BACK TIME, YOU WOULD...
Start from my high graduation and re-try...

24. IN YOUR WALLET, YOU HAVE...
Some money, Oregon DL, Washington ID, associate discount card, debit card, photos and lots of junk...

25. WHAT'S ON YOUR SCREEN SAVER?
Something tropical.

26. FAVORITE BOARD GAME/s
LIFE!

27. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Fruity (esp. citrus!), tropical, Aqua Di Gio, chai, Starbucks...

28. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU THINK OF BEFORE YOU GO TO
SLEEP?
Why aren't I asleep yet?

29. THINGS I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT:
Air, food, water, caffeine, family, friends, and money...

30. YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE?
I have many...

The Secret of Sugar-Free Roca: REVEALED!

2005-01-03T13:56:00.000-08:00

This is a piece of Almond Roca.

Everyone has always loved Almond Roca. And why shouldn't we?

Even I, an almond-hater, cannot resist the chocolately outside and
ultimately satisfying buttercrunch inside... It's one of the greatest
candies ever created. Period.

But there's something different about this particular piece of Almond Roca.
Something that one cannot simply see by cutting this sweet treat open...

To anyone, this looks like the Almond Roca we all know and love.
Almonds, chocolate, and buttercrunch. It's beautiful, I know.

What we don't see is the evil in this Almond Roca.
An evil so great, it WILL leave you doubled over in pain...

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you exhibit A,
the only piece of evidence you'll need to see the evil:

In the event that you can't make out the evil wording on this package,
I'll type it out for you:

"Excessive consumption may have a laxative effect.
Individual sensitivity may vary.
Maximum consumption is three pieces per day."

WTF?!?!

Now I don't know about you, but I happen to love Almond Roca.
I cannot possibly limit myself to three pieces of heavenly yum per day!

So where does that leave me and everyone else in the world?
In the bathroom. In pain. On the verge of death. Or wishing I was.

You've all been warned...

A New Year...

2005-01-02T11:05:00.000-08:00

[As taken from PalauanPride, my sister site!]

With all the recent devastation in the Far East region, the only right way to kick off the New Year is to help those who need it most:

A damaged Indian Airforce office building is seen on
Car Nicobar Island after the tsunami hit on Sunday.

Residents and tourists stand ankle-deep in water in the
enetertainment district of Patong in Phuket, Thailand.

Family members carry the body of a relative out of a destroyed
builidng in Trieng Gadeng following a devastating quake and
series of tidal waves that struck the Indonesian province of Aceh.

So this is me making my plea to all of you:
I'm doing my part to help those in need--

What will you do?

Click on the logo above to help!

I Hate New Year...

2004-12-31T11:23:00.000-08:00

I consistantly and adamantly hate New Year. I loathe it, despise it, and generally try to avoid it. If it were up to me, I would work through the whole damn night, so I'd at least have something to show for it... But no-- I can't even do that.

For the 20 New Years I have lived through, I haven't once gotten to do anything I wanted. Throughout my childhood, it was because I had no say-- My parents decided. Since leaving home-- It's been one messed up New Year after another because I either have no money, no ride, was stuck with someone I didn't want to be around, or no money. Did I mention my lack of money? UGH! Two party invites that I showed interest in and a couple of friends I'd like to go see-- None of which are going to happen because I'm broke, and even if I did have money-- I'd have no ride.

So this New Years' Eve, like any other, will be spent doing Gawd-knows-what while the rest of the world is out enjoying themselves.

So just turn friggin' midnight already and let's get this crap over with...

In Preparation For 2005...

2004-12-29T10:21:00.000-08:00

I hate making resolutions, but I am making one specially for this site:

I resolve to write more regularly.

The end.

It's Finally Over...

2004-12-27T17:04:00.000-08:00

Christmas has come and gone with, for the most, no problems... I bonded with my lil' tita more on Christmas than I think I ever had before and Kimo bonded with my cousin Silas more than e has ever bonded with any random guy... LMAO! [I love SCUBA!]

More than anything, I'm grateful that all this holiday cheer crap has come to an end... I don't remember disliking Christmas so much before, but I've lots of extenuating circumstances that have made it hard to love...

Next on the agenda is New Year... Which I am looking forward to. While it hasn't been that bad of a year, I haven't accomplished nearly half of the goals that I set for myself. There was so much that I wanted to get done, and now it's year end... I feel like I haven't made any progress in a lot of ways...

Anyhow, I'm just rambling on... I really should be cleaning the kitchen and getting dinner ready...

Question...

2004-12-20T20:52:00.000-08:00

At what point in a non-marital (but committed nonetheless) relationship does the so-called Honeymoon phase expire?

I ask this only because of the constant Aww-how-cutes and They're-so-adorables I get from my co-workers. All of these women have been in their relationships for at least a decade and keep telling me that I'm so lucky to still be in my Honeymoon phase.

And yet my relationship feels more like it's stagnate than anything else. Not to say stagnate as in deteriorating, but that it hit its plateau long ago and just keep dragging at a level far below its past glories.

I guess it's a selfish question to ask... And I should be appreciative of the stability of it all. But when things reach a point where it's like your company is only rarely acknowledged-- The institute of marriage comes to mind. [And not a recent marriage, mind you. More like that between the parents on Everybody Loves Raymond.] Anyway, I (as many know) have no great love for the institution of marriage and have no desire to stagnate at the tender age of twenty-one.

A few of my co-workers have gone so far as to suggest I buy lingerie... A notion which I just couldn't stop laughing at! The very thought of me in silk and lace is as frightening as the thought of Richard Simmons in the same get-up... *Shudder* And I made it painfully clear that my other half would be just as uncomfortable seeing me in such dress as I would be wearing it! Honestly... I think we've made it to the point where, though he doesn't find me attractive, he knows he's stuck with me all the same.

ANYHOW.............................

The point I was making is that we're like old, married people... And while it has it's positives... It also clearly has it's negatives.

*Sigh*

Ridiculous...

2004-12-20T20:36:00.000-08:00

I'd say the day has been ridiculous, but that just isn't the word to describe it. Nor is day the proper length of time to describe this never-ending cycle of...UGH!

So I miss my family and friends more than words could possibly express, but at the same time-- I cannot bear to face these people.

My life is not as it should be, given how much time has passed since I officially entered into adulthood. I haven't finishd school-- As finishing would imply me going in the first place. My job, as it not a career (I hope!), is a joke. I'm doing the same thing now that I was in high school.

As much as people try to comfort me that things can only get better from here on out, I somehow keep managing to find a new low. Whether it be menial employment, lack of education, or shabby housing.

So it's hard to feel like there's any hope. And though it is the Holiday Season, I feel like setting every Christmas tree on fire and watching the owners' distraught expressions.

Here's hoping that 2005 brings with it something worth looking forward to... God know what it could be-- But at this point, I guess whatever it is will have to do.

Good Little Blogger...

2004-12-14T20:46:00.000-08:00

I'm trying my best to update regularly, even if I have absolutely nothing to write about. I was great at this when I worked a cozy desk job, but now that I have no internet access until I get home from work-- Well, it's a whole lot more difficult.

Anyhow... Today was an unbearably boring day at work. The first two hours after opening, not a single customer even walked by. For the rest of the day, we had a few customers here and there. Nothing to make a great commission off of though. Sadly, it'll probably be this way for the rest of the month-- As we have no major sales until January.

As for the high point of the day, Heather came to visit! I miss working with her so much! She's a great influence, with her positive attitude and overall great spirit. I miss being around smart, positive, open-minded femmes my age. [Note to self: Must stay in better touch with Jaz, Mena, and Heather] Anyway, we wandered around the mall so she could get her shopping done and discussed her love life. And she gave me a ride home! BONUS!

I got home and threw together some dinner for Kimo, and I've been sitting aound slacking ever since.

I love slacking.

36 Q & A

2004-12-13T22:45:00.000-08:00

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME?
Charlene Merirei Ongelungel

2. WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?
Navy blue PJ bottoms with skulls and tropical motifs

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Was listening to UB40, now just the TV....

4. WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Fried rice

5. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
Only out of desperation...

6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Shiny

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW?
Cold, wet, windy

8. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED ON THE PHONE WITH?
Jaz, days and days ago...

9. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS?
I stole it from Hazel, but yeah-- She strikes me as good people.

10. HOW OLD ARE YOU TODAY?
21 years, 6 months, and 11 days.

11. FAVORITE DRINK?
Lately, Rock Star Energy drinks, Cherry Limeade and Mexican Chocolate Chai Milkshakes

12. HAIR COLOR?
Black with bronze-ish streaks

13. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Honey-colored ones, to be specific.

14. SIBLINGS?
Technically, just my lil' tita-- But we have some hanai bruddahs in the mix as well...

15. FAVORITE MONTH?
May/June/November

16. FAVORITE FOOD?
Too many to list... But I have been craving this one Jell-O/Strawberry dish Kimo's mom makes...

17. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
I watched "Bruce Almighty" out of sheer boredom today...

18. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
May 24/February 15

19. WHAT DO YOU DO TO VENT ANGER?
Listen to Adema and type... Or throw things around the apartment.

20. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
I miss my toy cash register.... Sometimes people would put REAL money in it.

21. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Spring... Sorry to be difficult...

22. HUGS OR KISSES?
Why can't I have both?

23. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
CHOCOLATE!

24. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Last week.... *Sigh*

25. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?
The boxspring....

26. WHO IS THE FRIEND YOU HAVE HAD THE LONGEST?
Technically, Jaz.

27. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT?
Mope around like the whiny sick girl I am...

28. FAVORITE SMELLS?
The smell of family cooking on special occasions, Icy Hot, citrus

29. WHAT INSPIRES YOU?
I'm more or less motivated by a fear of failure...

30. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
My own mortality, clowns, roaches, crickets, slugs, mice in my mashed potatoes... It just keeps going....

31. PLAIN, BUTTERED OR SALTED POPCORN?
I like caramel corn...

32. FAVORITE CAR?
I'd just like to have a car again...

33. FAVORITE FLOWER?
Plumerias and tulips

34. NUMBER OF KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING?
I should only have three, but somehow I have six or seven... Hmmmm...

35. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
But of course!

36. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK?
Whichever day I have off with Kimo that particular week...

Sicky Poo!

2004-12-13T17:52:00.000-08:00

I meant to get more done today. I intended to be productive. I swear...

I took a long hot shower, ate a ton of chicken noodle soup, took some decongestants, napped-- And 8 hours later I'm still miserable!

I honestly don't mind the achiness all that much, or even the mild headaches. But my sinuses and throat are absolutely killing me! Last night, I had to sleep with my mouth open or risk suffocation... And I woke up with a tongue so dry I could barely move it! Not to mention how sore and swollen my throat is... Grrr...

And of course we're having early Christmas festivities on Friday and Saturday... My sickly ass had better be well by then.

In other news, I finally made #1 for sales/produtivity at work last week... Even though window fashions is a fickle business... And I'm sure my ass is going to be brought down a few notches after this week-- Since I called in yesterday, and have the weekend off.

The important thing to remember is that drapes and blinds help to pay the bills.

*Sigh*

So much for getting things done today...

A Whole Entire Year...

2004-11-24T01:33:00.000-08:00

A human has willingly tolerated cohabitation with me for basically a year.

I'm stunned. It was of his own volition and he could've left at any point-- But he's still here.

He is a man of infinite paitience.

And I love him dearly.

The Beauty of Piracy

2004-11-23T18:26:00.000-08:00

So I'm not admitting to any sort of illegal activities, however--

I was looking for music to listen to when I came to realize just how bizarrely eccletic my tastes have become...

I have Whitesnake's Greatest Hits, Gwen Stefani's Love Angel Music Baby, both Norah Jones albums, and more reggae than you know what to do with-- All on a single playlist.

And that's just for starters...

Days Off...

2004-11-23T18:16:00.000-08:00

So I was off yesterday, today, and will be off Thanksgiving. It was remarkably unproductive, and I'm pretty sure the lack of cleaning I've done is the cause for that funny smell coming from the kitchen...

On the other hand, I have spent two whole days bonding with my significant other-- Which seems important since our one-year anniversary is tomorrow, and we're both doomed to work. *Sigh*

In other news, I've basically finished all my Christmas shopping. I'm sure I'll come across some interesting little bargains between now and the most over-commercialized-holiday-ever, but I've at least purchased something for everyone who's getting presents from me...

*Sigh*

It's amazing how tired you can get doing absolutely nothing.

Lack of productivity...

2004-11-16T18:45:00.000-08:00

So while my productivity at work has shot up to an astounding 110% (70% is the requirement), I cannot say the same for life at home...

I woke up at 10am and worked on the new site layout until noon. I then napped until 5pm, waking up to watch the pre-prime time line up on Fox. [Afterall, what night is complete without an episode of "The Simpsons" and "Malcolm In the Middle"?]

Throughout the day-- I've eaten a few slices of pepperoni, had a few cigarettes, and washed down the remaining half of a 2-liter Coke.

I almost feel bad for this, since the apartment is a mess (as usual)... But I can't bring myself to get up and doing something about it.

Oh well, I'm entitled to my day off.

Marijuana Leads To Nuclear Winter

2004-11-08T23:31:00.000-08:00

[Story taken from NWCN article, click here for full article]

"SEATTLE - It's one of the most popular tool kits sold in the snowboarding industry. But Laura Ylvisaker believes the "McIver Driver" is being used for more than just its tools.

'There are definitely pieces on it that look exactly like what a marijuana pipe would look like with a screen and a hole to be able to suck through,' she said.

Ylvisaker, a high school drug and alcohol counselor, believes the tool kit turns into a marijuana pipe and is angry it's being sold in stores targeting teenagers."
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With that said, I need to make one point very clear-- Stoners are way smarter than this woman credits them...

And yet Zumiez has pulled it from all their stores nationwide for fear that this small, simple tool will be misused by pot-smoking , snowboarding teenagers all over.

I'm only intrigued by this story because of all the items that will need to be recalled in accordance with all this nonsense.

No More Cool, Reshreshing Canned Beverages

No More Pens or Aluminum Foil
(Writers and Chefs are screwed on this one!)

No More Apples

That's right people! No more apples! And no apples means no juice, cider, sauce, pie, turnovers, or any other yummy treats!

DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS WILL DO TO OUR NATION COME THE HOLIDAYS?!

I'm foreseeing widespread panic, riots, looting, and the possible detonation of a noo-kyoo-ler bomb by our nation's leader...

You've all been warned.

Insight From Gersh Kuntzman

2004-11-08T23:21:00.000-08:00

[Click here for full article]

"Since when are liberal values immoral? If you take the central issues that liberals fight for—a clean environment, fair wages for working people, expanded civil rights, the rights of homosexual adults to copulate freely—these are ultimately American values. Yes, we liberals sometimes think we know better than you do—but, unlike the president, we don't make it the central pillar of our campaign."

Burglar suspect ends up stuck inside a chimney...

2004-11-04T23:24:00.000-08:00

So my mom calls leaves me a message this morning saying to call her back because there's been an emergency... I call, in panic, only to discover this:

[Courtesy of KATU 2 News - Portland, Oregon www.katu.com]

Click here to watch the video

November 4, 2004 - PORTLAND, Ore. -

An alleged prowler got stuck in a precarious position Thursday morning.

Eighteen-year-old Matthew Maes was stuck eight feet down a chimney in north Portland as the homeowner arrived - just in time to catch him.

The owner of the home, Hans Ongelungel, said he knew something was wrong when he got home to find his front door ajar.

He phoned 911 and when police arrived, Maes told them from the chimney that he was trying to get away from people chasing him.

Police say he was on drugs and trying to burglarize the home.

Firefighters tore the chimney apart, brick by brick, to get Maes free.

Maes faces criminal mischief and one count of burglary.

(Copyright 2004 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

The Saddest Day Since...

2004-11-03T23:38:00.000-08:00

On the local front, I am grateful for the victories of Governor-elect Christine Gregoire and incumbent Senator Patty Murry.

I am, however, saddened by the overwhelming (and unexpected) popularity of the Republican party this election year.

Despite record voter turnout this year, the highest nationwide since 1968, the Democrats did not win the popular vote. Despite the rising cost of healthcare, widening gap between the rich and the poor, the unreal price of continuing education-- Not to mention the growing number of war fatalities-- UGH!!! How the hell did this happen?!

A majority of my co-workers (all but 2) are staunch Republicans, which caused me a great deal of grief this morning. One co-worker went as far as to tell me that those who oppose Bush are sadly misinformed and need to do some reading... While I love my co-workers, I cannot believe the arrogance and ignorance that comprise their world views.

According to an article I read on MSNBC, despite the high turnout, voters 18 to 24 were still only 10 percent of the vote. This statistic is disgustingly close to that from the 2000 elections. I don't get how this is possible given all the work that went into voter registration drives and the overall push to mobilize the youth vote...

And let's not forget the issue of gay marriage bans! All of the eleven states with gay marriage bans on their ballots went ahead and banned away! Now I have to admit, a majority of these states did not shock me with their results. Backwater places like Kentucky and Arkansas are, more or less, expected to be backwater in their mentality. Granted you can marry your first cousin and have you a big ol' pack of deformed, inbred babies-- And Utah, where a man can marry all the women he wants regardless of their age... What the hell does someone's private, personal life have to do with me? Is it that whole "desecrating the sanctity of marriage" thing? 'Cause if it is-- We should probably review that whole "separation of church and state" thing...

*Sigh*

I don't even know what to make of world around me right now... Kimo's probably right-- It's all coming to an end and Bush is the Anti-Christ...

The End of the World As We Know It???

2004-11-03T09:08:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning hoping that somehow, overnight, the total count had changed and this nation would be okay-- Instead, I woke up to the horrible news that Joh Kerry had made his concession call to President Bush...

What will become of this nation, with a dim-witted-puppet-of-a-President? This man no longer faces the pressures of re-election and is free to do as he wishes...

I pray that somehow, a mistake was made. People turned away at the polls, machine malfunctions, voter fraud... There had to have been a mistake somewhere along the line.

I can't bring myself to believe that the people of this nation could truly believe in the leadership of President Bush... How can we have faith in this draft-dodging, 7-minute-sitting, mule-headed moron?! How can we call him the "Defense President" when the man's military record is comparable to a short stint in a mess hall for Chrissakes?! Let's hope he'll stick with his "No-Draft" story...

*Sigh*

It's looing like the end of the world as we know it...

Drifting Further...

2004-10-28T18:55:00.000-07:00

[Taken from cousin Osu's rockin' site Olekoi Palau!]

10/26/2004
2:37:30 PM
NAME: J_tlz
HOME ISLAND(S): Palau U.S.
CITY & STATE: Us
COMMENTS: Hey, Can anyone tell me what happen to Palauan Pride.com? Been tryin to get in there but i can't. Was up palau? Was up Palauanz? Whatz been out? Keep up the Good Work Olekoi. Im gone.

10/27/2004 11:08:48 AM
NAME: MELEMLIM
HOME ISLAND(S): Guam
U.S. CITY & STATE: COMMENT TO J-TLZ
COMMENTS: GOT SUED.....FOR WHAT I'VE HEARD. WAHAHAHAHA...MEKNGIT A TELULECHOID MA ELEBLAD. THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE THE WEBSITE GOT TOO MUCH LIES AND DISCRIMINATIONS AGAINST OTHER PEOPLE,

10/27/2004 2:25:21 PM
NAME: smiich
HOME ISLAND(S): Palau U.S.
CITY & STATE: palau
COMMENTS: Melemlim, Who got sued? Where did you get your info? you're a hypocrite, talking about telulechoid el cheleblad when you're doing exactly that! what is wrong with you?!

10/27/2004 5:04:31 PM
NAME: osu
HOME ISLAND(S): Palau
U.S. CITY & STATE: sactown, n. cali
COMMENTS: olekoi! Okay guys, no personal attacks or rumors. Sha's site is up and running. That's all that matters. Let's remember that keeping a site running is a lot of work but we do it cause we are proud to be palauan. We should be encouraging each other so that we can continue to have these sites to enjoy.

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It never fails to amaze me that people can be so bored that I can become a topic of conversation...